If you are good (or if you are bad but unsackable) you will eventually get sent on a course where you will eat and drink as much as you can while some loon repeats to you glib mantras derived from Ciceronian oratory. One of these, “you are the message”, turns up slightly disguised on the “thanks” page of the González Byass website:
Customer focus or fucked translation? I’ll get back to you with the answer, sortly.
Contributed by Warren Edwardes, who writes about food and wine, and would be delighted to sell you some of the latter.
- Tribuna Barcelona, muttering to itself?
Tribuna Barcelona is the city gerontocracy‘s
Ritz-Palace Hotel-based lunch club, whose invisibility to most belies its belief that it is “the most important opinion forum of Europe” [sic]. Its protocol indicates that an interpreter will not be provided for speakers in Catalan, Spanish, English or French, but the website translation makes one wonder how many visitors …
- French lessons: Grannie on her bike rides across the pool
Boby Lapointe, an obsessive, deranged comic genius who seems to have drunk himself to death aged 50, points to one of the delicious traps lying in wait for elephants who proceed beyond their French-English phrasebooks – the fact that of the supposed infinity of possible sentences in natural language, most are nonsense:
- “an equilibrate balance between apprentice and entertainment”
Has Loftwines, actually a first floor Barcelona office, been trying too much of its “communication tool”? Or do they believe their clients will be too drunk to notice yet more fucked translation?
The original copy is pretty terrible, although you’ve got to wish someone luck whose line is that boozing is good for business. Just out …
- Francophone ticket recycling centre at Valencia Joaquín Sorolla station?
Bring out your dirty tickets:
Tickets sales, tickets sale, when all I wanted was ticket sales. Well, then, just show me the way to the next tourist office:
The latter is in Valencia’s great Northern Station, which, confusingly for those with a basic understanding of conventional geography, is just outside Valencia’s vanished medieval South Gate. I pointed …