Various posts here have been devoted to encouraging fucked translation from Spanish as a brand differentiator, where linguistic sloth and incompetence transmit a sensation of cultural authenticity and other stuff I’m afraid I can’t remember, and don’t particularly care to.
For I suspect that most of you care very little for all that crap, and send in tiny masterpieces of imbecility because they offer a glowing wormpipe to a different dimension, which still holds out against the compliance, HR, and arsebandits of all creeds and nations, who seek to inflict on us cultural greyout in the form of yet more freaking autobahns, James Blake albums, and conventional linguistic usage.
Contributions from Catalan suburbia have been in rather short supply, so I’m delighted with the following trip into Alice’s rabbit hole just erected (we’re talking three metres, lads) in quadruplicate by Mataró Parc, a mall a few miles up the Maresme coast from Barcelona.
“Wellcome” is clearly a tribute to Henry Wellcome, pharmaceuticals entrepreneur and benefactor of the über-splendid Wellcome Trust, and an instruction to you to inhale from that Sherlock Holmesian hookah (sometimes spelling does count):
What happens inside is up to you, but on exit your farewell is what I take to be an echo of between-wars manly jargon, of the type found in boys magazines, still widely used in Gateshead men’s clubs, and developed significantly by Bobby Charles (See you later, alligator/In a while, crocodile), whence the repartee of Middlesbrough men’s clubs (See you later, masturbator/In a while, paedophile):
But interpretation is in the bloodshot eye of the beholder, so loosen up, and I’ll help you find a defence lawyer.
Dear reader, I am so sorry for these outbursts. If challenged, I will recount that one of my mother-in-laws almost nailed me the other day with a plate of oysters, which survived a sea of cheap cava and ferocious curry to set up home in my intestines. I will then enter a plea of insanitary.
- The English School, Barcelona struggles with English
I liked this bit about the school spelling competition:
Obviously, spelling in our three languages causes problems, but these are gradually overcomed with a high standard being obtained.
The site is full of simple errors, so that the school’s claim to offer “a high quality academical, linguistic and cultural education” seems dubious in at least one respect.
(Thanks JD) …
- Why we can legitimately call ourselves Barcelonians
- The Kinges Commission for the Imbarment of All English Ships. [Translated from the Spanish.] (At Barcelonia, 29 May .).
- Horatii Tursellini, Historiarum ab origine usque ad annum 1598 (1653), Barcelona:Barcelonia =
- Osona: the power of pigshit
Anon enjoys juxtaposing the gibberish from the tourist body for the Catalan district containing Vic, Manlleu and Torelló:
Discover thepower ofcatalan land, close to Barcelona
… with news from Grup de Defensa del Ter that the average level of nitrates in tested springs in the area -vital for walkers- has increased over the past year from 64 to
- Recording in which a Canarian separatist deputy mayor offers to fix up a PP councillor’s monolingual mum with a translation job
Like the Pujol organisation in Catalonia, Partido de Independientes de Lanzarote appears to be a xenophobic, localist, criminal clan whose nuclear deterrent against law and order is secession. Like CDC/UDC/CiU in Catalonia, it found political allies in a nation-wide criminal clan -the PP- in return for kickbacks, and some of what was sown is now being