How to write reggaeton

A fine template, but we prefer metapoetry.

Advanced perreo in a Pompeii brothel.

Advanced perreo in a Pompeii brothel. Image: Wikipedia.

In general circulation over the past three days, e.g.:

Select a phrase from each of the columns from left to right, y a perrear / and let’s fuck like dogs:

1

2

3

4

5

6
Mami

yo quiero

castigarte

duro

hasta que salga el sol

sin miedo
Gata

vamos a

cogerte

rápido

toda la noche

sin anestesia
Perra

yo voy a

encenderte

lento

hasta el amanecer

en el piso
Zorra

yo quiero

darte

suave

hasta mañana

contra la pared
Chica

yo vengo a

azotarte

fuerte

todo el día

sin compromiso

Chorus: repeat one phrase from column 3 thrice, continue with a phrase from column 5, and finish with a phrase from column 4.

I’m hardly in a position to throw stones – a large Yorkshirewoman once broke one of my toes dancing the lambada, well after it had gone out of fashion – but I find paralytic drunkenness is required to appreciate the undoubted subtleties of reggaeton. And I guess I prefer lyric-writing instructions to be set in the form they elucidate. Richard Stilgoe’s three-verse blues for Poppa in Starlight Express is a great clichéfest manual:

Oh the first line of the blues is always sung a second time
I said the first line of the blues is always sung a second time
So by the time you get to the third line you’ve had time to think of a rhyme.
Ain’t no law that says the third line gotta be different at all.
I said there ain’t no law that says the third line gotta be different at all.
No there ain’t no law that says the third line gotta be different at all.
Never borrow a mouth organ, not even from your best friend.
No, no, no, never borrow a mouth organ, not even from your best friend.
‘Cos you may survive the blowing, but the sucking’s gonna get you in the end.

Then there’s Lope de Vega’s sonnet on writing a sonnet:

Un soneto me manda hacer Violante,
que en mi vida me he visto en tal aprieto;
catorce versos dicen que es soneto:
burla burlando van los tres delante.

Yo pensé que no hallara consonante
y estoy a la mitad de otro cuarteto;
mas si me veo en el primer terceto
no hay cosa en los cuartetos que me espante.

Por el primer terceto voy entrando
y parece que entré con pie derecho,
pues fin con este verso le voy dando.

Ya estoy en el segundo, y aun sospecho
que voy los trece versos acabando;
contad si son catorce, y está hecho.

And Alexander Pope:

True ease in writing comes from art, not chance,
As those move easiest who have learned to dance.

… and Billy Collins:

All we need is fourteen lines, well, thirteen now
And after this next one just a dozen

…and so on and so forth.


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