The other day in the London City out of scientific interest I ate from a hipster stall a portion of /pʌɪˈɛlə/. It wasn’t paella – it looked and tasted like sewage sludge, black, oily, foul – but I couldn’t work out (and didn’t dare ask) what method had led to this madness.
A couple of days later, somewhere in NW, I paid a Moroccan street vendor a fiver for a fine piece of chermoula-marinaded sea bass, which came with rice, sold again as /pʌɪˈɛlə/. The rice was fine, but prepared and spiced like a generic Ottoman pilav, so I deserted the grunting Slav street alcoholic on my table, and gently cross-questioned the entrepreneur.
Firstly, Spanish branding works. So far, so obvious.
Secondly, paella-the-dish is a miserable Iberian copy of a great Maghrebism, and paella-the-word is merely the application of a Spanish ll marinade to pilau, or whatever. That’s amusing bollocks, so it should do quite well on internet.
Thirdly, the only difference between /pʌɪˈɛlə/-palou and risotto is that you stir the latter. Sounds like Caliphate cookery.
Then I had a pint of Doom Bar for 3GBP – not bad for a neighbourhood where three-bed ex-council flats go for a million.
- London’s River Lea and Waltham Forest in Drayton’s 1622 Poly-Olbion
Now you see ’em, now you don’t.
- French lessons: Grannie on her bike rides across the pool
Boby Lapointe, an obsessive, deranged comic genius who seems to have drunk himself to death aged 50, points to one of the delicious traps lying in wait for elephants who proceed beyond their French-English phrasebooks – the fact that of the supposed infinity of possible sentences in natural language, most are nonsense:
- Sex and the internet in Spanish
Here’s a curious little corpse-worm:
Curious for me, because I thought that the arrival in Hispanidad of services provided over TCP/IP and HTTP was divisible into three sociolinguistic phases:
- Tech nerds tend to assign masculine gender to this weird new shit, more or less as per Regina Morin, Spanish gender assignment in computer and Internet
- Merchants and tenants at Billingsgate Market include…
City Music Services. Let me explain. And introduce my top 10 performing fish.