A bouncer was standing outside a club when suddenly a horde of feet poured down the street and began squealing, “Let us in, let us in!”
“This establishment’s non-discrimination policy doesn’t apply to autonomous human body parts,” he replied, “so fuck off.”
But they began kicking at his ankles, and hopping up his legs to kick him in worse places, and there were so many of them that he feared for his life, so he called the manager.
“Oh,” said the manager, “just admit defeat.”
I rather like some of Daedelus‘ stuff:
I can’t think without googling of a pedal companion for Gogol’s nose:
For the sake of propriety, Ivan Jakovlevitch drew a coat over his shirt, sat down at the table, shook out some salt for himself, prepared two onions, assumed a serious expression, and began to cut the bread. After he had cut the loaf in two halves, he looked, and to his great astonishment saw something whitish sticking in it. He carefully poked round it with his knife, and felt it with his finger.
“Quite firmly fixed!” he murmured in his beard. “What can it be?”
He put in his finger, and drew out—a nose!
- Merchants and tenants at Billingsgate Market include…
City Music Services. Let me explain. And introduce my top 10 performing fish.
- Nunca digas nunca Hamas
A pun on Never say never again on Gracia’s only SWP bodega (one of the proprietors claims to have known Yigael Gluckstein) may be suggesting that may be no imminent solution to the problem of bearded nutters rocketing their neighbours and then moaning about the response.
In other graffiti today, the anarchist nutters in the lovely little …
- Bert Gilbert and his Eagle
This is not Bert Gilbert, the actor, wife-beater and adulterer (although possibly solely for the purposes of the decree nisi) who starred as ‘Arry Wilkins in the 1906 demonstration at the Hippodrome of the effects of The flood on London, of which was wrote:
Three hundred thousand gallons of water sweep away the bridges, pull down the
- The demon barber of Calais, a 17th century Sweeney Todd
I believe the current early chronology of versions containing all the basic motifs is as follows:
- Joseph Fouché was a politician and administrator, and the delightfully wicked creator under Bonaparte of something vaguely resembling the modern police service. According to PBS, he wrote in something called Archives of the police of a series of murders committed
- Reïmagining Neil Young
Something I’ve been doing ever since I first heard a taped On the beach in the squat next to Islington Town Hall on Upper Street, with Ra$ta the incontinent cat periodically tumbling from his armchair perch, suffering stoically from his compulsive consumption of any small dark lumps discovered on his quite limited travels.
Not that there’s …