Seniorita’s sauna and massage parlour, Chatsworth Road, Clapton, London

Google Brain is rounding off this blog’s already manifest redundancy, so let’s treasure Seniorita’s while we may:

Seniorita’s is of course advertised on pimpsites as a brothel (grab). This supposed punter will never make it in the grocery trade:

Senioritas At 2 chatsworth rd london E5 you will find a mp with about 8 young chinese girls.All between 7-9[?????].Nice clean place with good showers and a working sauna.A few eastern european girls sometimes.15 pounds to get in and 50 pounds for a half hour usually excellent service.

We Spanish might naively assume that the following was the result of the police and the council not having received sufficient discount:

“Of the workers, two admitted to offering sexual services to punters, but the remaining two were reluctant to discuss any type of service offered. It is important to stress that the workers were all there voluntarily and there were no concerns that they had been trafficked or held against their will.”

Sgt Hicks added that no prosecution was anticipated, but a follow-up visit was due and depending on the outcome, police may consider a prosecution if the premises was felt to be running as a brothel again.

Whence the name? Perhaps from a traditional anglicisation of señorita, although George Formby uses a different pronunciation in his Lancashire Toreador (01:15):

… and Al Jolson doesn’t even attempt it in The Spaniard that Blighted My Life – the only blemish on a great song:

I don’t know the history of the establishment, but I suppose a wandering brain might suggest that the name can’t be blamed on the British. The owner since a previous raid is a young Bulgarian Turkish woman (grab), presumably from one of the impoverished post-Ottoman communities in the lower Danubian plain which have so far weathered the sweet rains of Balkan Slav nationalisms. The somewhat older accountant (grab), who one imagines has quite a lot to say, is a Greek, presumably Cypriot, and like the best of his generation probably speaks a bit of Turkish. But why, oh wandering brain, might people from the Eastern Mediterranean give their club a Western Mediterranean name? Did the Balkan Sephardim use this term for a brothel? Is the Roman myth of the Dancing Girls of Cadiz still told in Black Sea resorts? Did Eudoxus actually circumnavigate Africa in his second great ship (< Posidonius < Strabo), cutting out the Ptolemies and bearing to the rulers of India puellae gaditanae, whose techniques were copied by the tribes who migrated west and became known as gypsies? Was the Bulgarian-Turkish-Roma-whatever tragic talent Reyhan heiress to such a tradition?:

What is happening on Chatsworth Road?!

I think I’ll have a cup of tea.

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Posted on 2015

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Föcked Translation (413): I posted to a light-hearted blog called Fucked Translation over on Blogger from 2007 to 2016, when I was often in Barcelona. Its original subtitle was "What happens when Spanish institutions and businesses give translation contracts to relatives or to some guy in a bar who once went to London and only charges 0.05€/word." I never actually did much Spanish-English translation (most of my work is from Dutch, French and German) but I was intrigued and amused by the hubristic Spanish belief, then common, that nepotism and quality went hand in hand, and by the nemeses that inevitably followed.

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Homerton (70): Homerton is a district in East London, England, in the London Borough of Hackney.

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Lower Clapton (3): Lower Clapton is a district of East London in the London Borough of Hackney, lying immediately north of Hackney Central, the borough's administrative and retail centre. Neither Lower Clapton nor the wider Clapton area have ever been an administrative unit and consequently their extent has never been formally determined, however Lower Clapton can be described as closely approximating to the southern part of the E5 postal district.

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