Cataloonia, Sweden on the Med

In one of the most celebrated assaults on the Catalan socialist nationalism that has dominated the political agenda for the last 40-odd years Josep Pla wrote:

At a certain point Josep Vergés [father of this loon], in legitimate exercise of his rights, sold “Destino” to a Jack-of-all-trades [milhomes–“hyperactive dwarf” is closer to Pla in sentiment if not style] of great political ambition called Jordi Pujol, of Banca Catalana. This extraordinarily rich gentleman, who first advocated the implementation of Swedish socialism in this country—Swedes are scarce in this country–and since has demonstrated the inordinate and public ambition characteristic of the typical ignorant politician, forbade the publication of an article of mine on Portugal, responsible for the most bestial and unwashed revolution in Europe in the century in which we live. Given this fact, I have the pleasure of informing you that I left the magazine with the utmost satisfaction–satisfaction that derives, in this case, from the accuracy of my articles on that poor and today ruined country of Portugal, its ruin caused by the great admirers Jordi Pujol had in Portugal, which is to say the socialists and the communists.

[En un moment determinat, Josep Vergés, en ús del seu perfecte dret vengué «Destino» a un milhomes, de gran ambició política, anomenat Jordi Pujol, de la Banca Catalana. Aquest senyor, riquíssim, que primer propugnà en aquest país la implantació del socialisme suec —en aquest país els suecs són escassos— i després ha demostrat tenir una ambició desmesurada i pública pròpia del típic polític ignorant, prohibí la publicació d’un article meu sobre Portugal, que ha fet la revolució més bèstia i ignara d’Europa en el segle que vivim.. Davant aquest fet, tinc el gust de comunicar-los que vaig abandonar la revista amb la màxima satisfacció —la satisfacció que prové, en aquest cas, de l’exactitud dels meus articles sobre aquest pobre i avui arruïnat país de Portugal, ruïna produïda pels grans admiradors que Jordi Pujol tenia a Portugal, o sigui els socialistes i els comunistes. I així he quedat admirablement tranquil, lliure i encara despert, arribat a vuitanta anys.]

It’s most unfortunate for us as well as for him that Pla died in 1981, before Sweden’s carefully constructed image began to disintegrate at the hands of guys like Thomas Sjöberg, whose rip-roaring investigative assaults on figures like IKEA’s Ingvar Kamprad, Berth Milton Jnr (the almost ruined (officially anyway) tax-exile porn-king of Sant Cugat), and latterly Carl XVI Gustaf have suggested, not the moral and ethnic purity recollected in Andrew Brown’s excellent Fishing in Utopia, but a quasi-totalitarian state overrun by a multinational hydra of mobsters and whores.

So perhaps we can see in the flood of sub-Berlusconi, misogynist, semi-pornographic campaign videos from one of the main nationalist parties and from various new ones Pujol’s Swedish dream coming true at last.

As they say, beware of what you ask for because you just might just get it.

For those who haven’t seen the future of Iberian politics, here are the Catalan socialists:

… the ex-Popular Party candidate, Montse Nebrera, now leading her own “party”:

… ex-Barcelona president Joan Laporta’s female sidekick, the porn actress María Lapiedra, who doesn’t let her new-found separatism get in the way of similar videos incorporating the Spanish national team:

… and finally the transvestite hooker and madam Carmen de Mairena, implicated in the forced prostitution of Romanian women in the Raval, here helping out the Elvis impersonator, Reus councillor, and fan of a footie club comfortable with neo-Nazi iconography, Ariel Santamaria, in his bid to be in the hot-seat when the IMF drops by:

Due to bureaucracy I’m not standing this time round. Someone the other day sent me some of the rather strange poetry I published during my only ever campaign for public office, which I do not plan to disseminate further.

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