You cannot pretend you are a real witch if you cannot help a businessman get the European Union funds he wants. For example, only the other day I had a young businessman who came to me with his papers applying for European funds. I spread the cards on his documents, said my spells and splashed the papers with some potions. It only cost him about £40 for my charms but when gets the money thanks to my spells he will be happy and I will be happy because he will bring me new customers.
Witchcraft is recognised in Romania and the EU guarantees gay rights. Margareta from Pitesti has put two and two together:
I have come up with a lot of new spells to help men to get together or for men to gain more feminine features. They are starting to use make up and wear jewellery and I am helping with spells to make them more attractive, make their thighs smaller and stop their moustaches growing.
So why did everyone get so excited about Turkmenistan?
[Dave Noblog points out that plastic bags caught in trees are called witches’ knickers. I’m sure Margareta and Florica can afford silk.]
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Is that why there’s a website somewhere that contains nothing but plastic bags in trees?
I’d have thought Margareta from Fürth would know all about that. Thought of adding spelling consultancy to your principal service?
The mayor of Fürth has removed his moustache, but it was nothing to do with me. My only Romanian connection was living with a Transsylvanian for five years.