Witches help Romanian entrepreneurs get EU grants

Sez Florica from Pitesti:

You cannot pretend you are a real witch if you cannot help a businessman get the European Union funds he wants. For example, only the other day I had a young businessman who came to me with his papers applying for European funds. I spread the cards on his documents, said my spells and splashed the papers with some potions. It only cost him about £40 for my charms but when gets the money thanks to my spells he will be happy and I will be happy because he will bring me new customers.

Witchcraft is recognised in Romania and the EU guarantees gay rights. Margareta from Pitesti has put two and two together:

I have come up with a lot of new spells to help men to get together or for men to gain more feminine features. They are starting to use make up and wear jewellery and I am helping with spells to make them more attractive, make their thighs smaller and stop their moustaches growing.

So why did everyone get so excited about Turkmenistan?

[Dave Noblog points out that plastic bags caught in trees are called witches’ knickers. I’m sure Margareta and Florica can afford silk.]

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  1. The mayor of Fürth has removed his moustache, but it was nothing to do with me. My only Romanian connection was living with a Transsylvanian for five years.

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