Why Spain must win tonight

The geopolitical consequences of a German victory don’t bear thinking about.

SC asks whether I’m cheering on Spain or the Netherlands. It’s quite simple:

  • Germany beats Spain tonight →
    • Spain vs Uruguay on Saturday → clash with Catalan separatist demonstration planned for the same day in Barcelona → Spanish Civil War, Part 593 → Barcelona burns → adios, barrel organ
    • German vs Holland on Sunday → Low Saxon civil war → burning of architectural marvels like Glanerbrug, Overdinkel, Noord Deurningen → Jantje van Leiden, Part 2 → Pynchon writes another bloody endless European novel
    • Summary: bad
  • Spain beats Germany →
    • Germany vs Uruguay → popular pressure to find Adolf Hitler, holed up since ’45 in the South American Switzerland Serbia
    • Spain vs Netherlands → Eighty Years War, Part 2 → Brussels burns → massacre of EU functionaries
    • Summary: hmm…

On the other hand Germany’s a joy to watch. Maybe tonight they could put a couple past Casillas in the first half and then sit in the stands for the second, like successful teams are expected to do in whichever Canadian junior league hit the headlines recently.

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Apparently the match can be seen Milton-Friedman-free on a big screen in Gavá with Ciudadanos, or in 3D at Cinesa Diagonal with the PP.
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And then there’s always this:

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