¡España británica!

Why impose disastrous Spanish policies on thriving Gibraltar when British colonisation of Spain would have so many advantages?

Vitoria: Wellington could have had it all.

Vitoria: Wellington could have had it all. Image: BM.

In many ways modern Europe began with the Treaty of Utrecht, which inter alia awarded Gibraltar to the Brits after two centuries of rule by the Spanish Crown. So now that, three centuries later, modern Europe appears to be on the point of collapse I guess it kind of makes sense that – resurgent nationalism in response to national devastation aside – the status of Gibraltar should be discussed again, as it currently is every night in the territory’s waters.

Unfortunately a Spanish Anschluss is the only solution under discussion, when British colonisation of Spain would actually make far more sense. Some important potential benefits:

  1. Functional employment policy. Unemployment in Gibraltar is about 2%. In neighbouring Andalusia it’s close to 30.
  2. Decent English teaching.
  3. An end to a fisheries policy that has driven half the population of littoral West Africa to sleep on the streets of Europe.
  4. A governor who is considerably more capable than the current domestic competition, looks like the perfect son-in-law, and talks excellent Spanish. Nick Clegg in Madrid would be Chris Patten in Hong Kong, looking forward rather than back.
  5. Daniel Hannan (who also speaks good Spanish) could be shackled to sugar-mum Esperanza Aguirre with a mission to reinvigorate the Viceroyalty of New Spain.
  6. Fortunately Scotland will no longer be part of the UK, so no bloody whining missionaries and an end to Catalan subversion.
  7. An end to history. Like German princes in the nineteenth century Balkans, the British killed no-one’s great grandad in the Civil War. Wait, let me think of another precedent.
  8. The name’s bond, Euro James Bond. Constantino Romero can be the new entity’s Moscow envoy.

Any more?

Similar posts


  1. Contra:
    * minimum alcohol prices
    * Murdoch would buy TV1 off Jeremy C in the privatization

    Would you introduce some form of democracy or leave things as they are?

  2. Imagine the improvements! An end to corrupt police forces and local/regional governments!

    Hold on…

  3. My plan involved sending the Met and the Mossos to Ukraine to help with the football and then denying them reëntry.

  4. It’s because retards like you, which are, by the way, 98% of the UK’s citizens, that nobody likes your shit. Take your shitty article, print it, roll it and put it up the ass of your whore Queen. God save the English Queen’s anus!

    Plus, nobody in Spain speaks english because english is a broken, overly simplistic language filled with racist insults.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *