Esperanza Aguirre, the PP’s clown princess

With a bonus on the true reason behind Manuel Valls’ rejection of Catalan separatism.

“A nation that respects itself cannot allow such attacks on its police, the ultimate guarantors of our freedom”, then fails by a mile to run over a cop, who suffers a fit of clinically professional hysterics, the Professional Union of Mobility Agents (acronym SPAM), the comments of Ms Bottle and Mr Skinny … simply delicious.

I also liked the true story of why Manuel Valls will do what he can to prevent the Catalan coup proposed for September: it’s not because he happens to think nationalism is evil, but because the Tàpies nationalist mafia blackballed his father, Xavier Valls, in Barcelona for not being abstract enough.

I’d shiver at Valls Senior’s work and move on, but I loathe Tàpies. This is not because of any ism – for example, I’m a silent fan of the quiet furrow ploughed by this guy, who almost certainly regards me as Adolf Hitler reincarnate – but because he is a failed version of a classmate at the village comprehensive.

At a particularly brilliant moment in our islands’ history, Weevil painted his penis red, white and blue and showed it to the art teacher, but within a couple of years was usefully employed as a baker’s assistant, injecting all manner of bodily waste into the wholemeal dough.

Tàpies is still hard at work on his penis and his flag.

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