Several modest proposals re the Hackney soundscape

Let’s sort out this sex and violence shit.

  1. Currently emergency service sirens are audible for roughly 80% of the time 06:00-02:00. More efficient for those of us who pretend to work would be to play sirens all the time EXCEPT when there are emergencies. My Japanese friends approve of this inversion of sirens and silence.
  2. The Lea Navigation rapist(s) is/are still on the loose. So. Boys should be trained at school, Pavlov stylee, to sing loudly the Marseillaise whenever they get an erection. The Marseillaise is the only anthem that works for this kind of thing. The effect on the Monday morning Overground would be startling, and the Fifth Republic might abandon its zombie existence.

Check back for remarkable news re the identity of Banksy, and his revenue streams.

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  1. A friend of mine, a teacher of what used to be called Religious Education but is now agnosticised into something less committed, once had complaints from some parents after she set a task in which they sit in complete silence and think about anything they liked. Of course, there is the erection danger in that, I suppose.

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