Now! Then! 2025! - Yorkshire On This Day

Excerpt

Gentlement, members o’ ye Aneshunt an’ Lernid Society o’ Anty-Queerans, o’ Pateley Brigg: We, t’ Mare an’ t’ Corporashun o’ t’ town o’ Gerston, feel this ta be prowdist moment ov hower llves. (Cheers.) We feel prowd ta think ‘at we sud hev t’ I honour ta prezent this Address ta yo; an’ ‘at yo so willin’ly consentid ta accept it wen we ex’d yo. T’ fame o’ yower lernid society had been nawn i’ Gerston fer lang, i’ spite ov ho t’ snaw an’ rane ‘at ivver com down; an’ i’ spite ov ho t’ contrary winds ‘at wer ivver nawn ta blaw ayther o’ Cawdstanes, Greenhahill, er Fancarl Top. (Tremendous cheerin’, all t’ nine noddin assent.) We sud hev been happy ta hev shown yo sum oade aneshunt relics o’ bygone ages – witch is easy fun i’ sum o’ hower bak yards i’ t’ town – bud as yo can’t stop, we ex yo ta leak on a finer pikter be’y t’ hoaf – a pikter witch is nawn ta plaise ivvery Anty-Queeran, though it is modern one. We therefor ex yo ta servey w’ yower powerful speks t’ crow’d now assembl’d, an’ see if hower fair ones weant bear cumparysan we onny ta be fun i’t wide wide world.

Comment

Comment

Did Grassington have any kind of representative body? What happened to the group photo referred to at the end? Nine men in August 1874 Grassington should be findable!

Re dialect almanacs:

A Poor Rabbin’s Ollminick appeared in Belfast in 1861. It was written in dialect, and its purpose was not comic but to record that dialect for antiquarian purposes. Writes Maureen Perkins, historian of nineteenth-century almanacs, ‘The memory of Poor Robin was alive, but somewhat altered in the recalling.’

Poor Robin’s special humour of the wise fool who knows better than his betters did resurface, though, in a remarkable flourishing of almanacs written in regional dialect which took place in the north-east of England, in Yorkshire and Lancashire, from the 1840s.

This flourishing of creativity among self-taught manual workers generated such titles as the Bairnsla Foaks’ Annual, the Nidderdill Olminac and the Shevvild Chap’s Almanac. By 1877 there were about forty different titles and one—the Original Halifax Illuminated Clock Almenack—would continue until 1956.

These almanacs preserved both the form and the function of Old Poor Robin—some of them matched its physical form quite closely—celebrating local events and regional pride. Some, like the Bairnsla Foaks’ Annual, also contained some mocking judicial astrology. The Bairnsla, known as ‘the Punch of the North’, came to resemble Old Poor Robin very markedly in some of its humorous predictions:

Widows will roar for the loss of their husbands, owd Maids will sigh for’t’want a wun.

Evidently Poor Robin’s brand of humour retained its vitality even after his demise.
(Wardhaugh 2012)

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Original

“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”-SHAKSPEARE.

WHEN Shem, Ham, an’ Japhet had been on dry land awile efter t’ gert flead, they began ta feel a soart o’ langin’ ta form a Society o’ sum kind amang thersens, (nut yan o’ thease Reckabites ner gud Templar soart) an’ accordin ta tradishan they met ivvery neet wal they suckseedid i’ establishun wat they lang’d for. It wer several ‘ears efter ther formashun, afoare they gat agree’d aboot ther rules, an’ t’ naime they sud give ther Society. I’t’ end, Ham, wash wer awlas a taisty chap sed, let’s cole it, “Ye Aneshunt an’ Lernid Society o’ Anty-Queerans,” becos sez he, “we hev baith aneshunt an’ lernid documents at belang’d ta t’ anty-deluvians; an’ ye naw they wer queerans.” Bud Japheth being a bit ov a contrary fello, wantid summat else, bud wen it wer put ta t’ Meetin’, Shem an’ Ham baith votid yah wa’ an’ bet Japheth. Next thing wer ta’ git ther rules drawn up, witch cost ’em oshans o’ time, wat wi’ attendin’ meetin’s, an’ yah thing er another. They laid wakken neets widoot number, rakkin ther brains, an’ rowlin aboot, wal ther wives thow’t they wer all rang i’ ther heads, an’ they nivver expektid nowt else bud they sud hev ta send ’em tav sum plaise o’ confinement, bud t’ pooer things lile knew wat wer really t’ matter weah ’em, ner wat wer i’ t’ wind. Bud as t’ oade proverb sez–

Pashance an’ persyverance moves moontans,
Builds Cities, an’ raises Foontans.

It proved trew i’ thare case fer they gat ther rules cumpleatid i’ t’ end, an’ as far as can be’y meeade hoot o’ wats been preserved, t’ followin’ is a literal translashun on ’em.

1st.–‘At this Society sal be coled “Ye Aneshunt an Lernid Society o’ Anty-Queerans.”

2nd.–‘At this Society sal i’ all cases, an’ dealins, watsoever, notwithstandin’, use t’ mystic numbers, an’ that three Members sal constitute this t’ parent Society. An’ that onny branch ‘at may be form’d o’ this Society fra this time ta t’ end ov all things sal nut consist o’ marr ner 3, 5, er 9 members, which last number indicates perfeckshun er cumpleshun.

3rd.–Wenivver an’ warrivver a branch o’ this Society sal be istablish’d, it must hoppen wi’ its full complement o’ members, ayther 3, 5, er 9.

4th.–Wenivver a Member dees, er is expell’d, naah person sal be admitted ta fill t’ vacancy up till heze been on trial 9 hooers, 5 minits an’ 3 tick taks. At t’ end o’ that time he will be led blin’d inta prezance ov o’t’ members constitutin’ t’ Society, an’ he will hev ta answer ivvery question put tul ’em reet an’ street, an’ he mun call ivvery- thing be’y its reet naime, thus:-a man, a man, a woman, a woman, a hoss, a hoss, a mule, a mule, &c., an’ so forth, an’ durin time t’ candydates under eggsaminashun, all t’ members will stare at him wi’ sike pooerful spekticles as will pearse him throo an’ throo, an’ read t’ varra thowts ov hiz hinnermost hart.

Efter t’ 4th rule t’ rest becums illegibal er all bud saah throo time. All lernidist men fer generashuns hez try’d ta decipher ’em bud all ta naah use until N. N. was admitted as a member, an’ it wer nawn ‘at he had a pertikler taiste fer “Oade Aneshunt Matter.” He undertaike ta decipher an’ cumpleat it i’ 9 months, 5 weeks, an’ 3 das witch wer dun tav a second. In hiz report he gives it as hiz opinion ‘at this rule hez been added sum 9,503 ‘ears efter t’ first Society had been istablished.

T’ followin’ is a copy ov t’ rule i’ question as it is i’ t’ original document.

“Neah wimmin will be alloo’d on onny consideration ta becum a member o’ this Society. Neah member is debarr’d fra courtin’ er cudlin onny lass ‘at will alloo ‘im er vice a versa.”

On this rule bein’ compleatid N. N. wer persentid wi’ a Nine da’s American Clok – witch cost three an’ sixpence – fer dean hiz wark sa weal, ta which ivvery member i’ nawn world subscrib’d as weel as t’ Society ‘at he belang’d tul. Efter t’ presentashun, hiz helth wer drunk wi’ a three times three; then all tother heet members had tharr’s drunk wi’ t’ saime number; fer this branch can boast o’ t’ perfect an’ cumpleat number o’ nine.

Nine worthies they er call’d, all different sizers,
Three tall, three small, an’ three er Extra prizers.

It will thus be seen ‘at this Society ‘at meets ta transact ther business i’ private appartments – nut as a secret Society – at “T’ Pig i’ Miserry,” i’ Pateley, hez a perfect reet ta use t’ aneshunt name an’ title ‘at hez been handid doon ta them fra generashun ta generashun, an’ waahs excurshun we are aboot ta himortalize be’y puttin’ it inta print ta be perservid i’t’ Arch-hives o’ t’ Society, an’ ta be’y handid forrard ta mortals yet unborn.

T’ Excurshun ta Malham an’ Settle, had lang been toked aboot bit members. T’ jerney wer leak’d forrard teah wi’ an immense amount o’ pleazure; in fakt, ivvery number i’ t’ nine gat thersens run up ta t’ heeist pitch o’ joyful expecktashun, fer all yan o’ t’ lot had a soart o’ misgivin’, becos he sed hede seen fer’ three da’s hand runnin’ nine Nanpies, witch wer a bad sine, he sed

“Yan’s sorrow, two’s mirth,
Three’s a weddin’, four’s a birth,
Five’s a kersanin’, six a dearth,
Seven’s heaven, heet is hell,
An’ nine’s the divil hiz awn sell.”

Bud he sed hede maaide a cross ivvery time he saw ’em, witch brak t’evil ‘oman, All tother heet laff’d wal they nearly crakt ther sides, ta think ‘at he sud beleeve i’ sike oade wife’s tales. It wer agreed ‘at this matter sud stand ower fer discusshun at yan o’ ther special meetin’s durin’ t’ winter sesshuns.

T’ da’ appointed fer ta mak a start wer on t’ 3rd o’ Ogust, 1874; an’ a lovlier mornin’ nivver shon o’ onny undertakkin’ ner it did o’ this witch wer considered a varra gud sine i’ spite o’ t’ Nanpies.

Wen t’ foak i’ toon got ta naw aboot this excurshun, it becum at yance a nine da’s wonder. Ivverybody don’d thersen’s i’ ther Sunda’ claise, an’ maaide thersens as nice a/s ninepence ta see ’em off, an’ sike gud wishes wer nivver shooer’d o’ onny lot sin da’s at Shem, Ham, &c., sat i’ council. Exaktly at three o’clock, p.m. it efternean, this aneshunt society startid, drawn be’y three horses, midst cheerin’ an’ hurrahin. Bud amidst all t’ mirth wer ta be seen a monny wi’ tears i’ ther ‘een perticklerly amang t’ wimmin, poor things! sum on em had ther feeaces burried i’ ther apprans, shakkin ther heeads and sobbin’ as if ther harts wad brek. Ov course thease wer singal yung wimmin ‘at wer partin’ wi’ ther sweetharts; an’ wer freeten’d ‘at they wad see sumbody else they wad like better ner thersens. Wen t’ blubberin’ an’ roarin’ began ta be rayther lood, hoer Jarvy put t’ horses intav a full gallop an’ t’ noise o’ t’ trap droondid t’ hart rendin’ soonds witch filled t’ air; an’ he nivver stopp’d wal he gat ta t’ boddum o’ Greena banks. Then began t’ tug o’ war – at least fer thease ‘at had ta tak ta ther wokin ta reeach t’ first stage o’ ther jerney. If thease fello’s ivver had onny “meltin’ moments,” it wer wi’ climbin’ t’ hills ta Greena o’ that blazin’ heeat da’. Wen’ t’ Miners’ Arms wer fun t’ memory o’ that filantrophic indyvidual ‘at wer t’ means o’ raisin’ sike a noble institushun as a public hoose, wer thrice blest. T’ fello ‘at awlas paid, sed he wad hev stud glasses agane if they’d nobbut had Sir Wilfred Lawson wi’ ’em that da’ ta woke them hills, becos it wad a cure’d him ov hiz Permissive Bill-in. Wen yan o’ t’ extra prize chaps wer boon ta sit doon it public, a barn set up a scream, he wer teld he wer gine to sit ont; at that he jump’d, stummal’d, an’ ran agane another extra-prize fello ‘at had a bottle o’ pop in hiz hand; he wer nock’d ower, an’ in hiz upset he let t’ bottle fall; t’ cork flew hoot all t’yatid wather efter it, reet intav another chaps neck, he i’ hiz turn jump’d up an’ seezed hiz stick, ass’d another wat he ment: other two wer watchin’ em’ throo t’ winder, nearly killed wi’ laffin. A bit ov explainashun set all reet, an’ t’ bairn wer fun i’ t’ creddle close ta wear t’ first prizer wer boon to sit doon. Another drop a piece, accumpanied wi’ a gud laff started t’excurshunists on t’ road agane towards Gerston.

T’ jolly nine wer yance marr set behind t’ mystic three joggin’ along as fast as t’ four leg’d anymals cud carry ’em, on past Stump Cross Cavern an’ t’ Moor Cock Inn, till they com at Dibbles Brig, commonly coled Divil’s Brig. It’s sed t’ Divil wer yance crossin’ this beck wi’ hiz apron full o’ stanes, an’ hiz apron strings brak just wen he wer it middle o’ t’ beck, an’ meaide t’ brig as it is noo. Bud hooer nine Anty-Queerans fand on examinin it a lile bit, ‘at tharr izzant yan in a hunderd trew, an’ ‘at this brig is a county brig an’ built bit t’ rates. T’ next stoppage wer at Hebdin Bank top, ta tak a survey o’ t’ village. All t’ nine put on ther spektikals witch magnified Hebdin 1,000 times bigger ner it really is. Gert car wer tean ‘at nowt wer miss’d worth noatishin; nowt really o’ importance wer discover’d bud an oade tree reeat an’ a aneshunt cart shed, wi’ sum gerse growin’ on t’ top, bud as neah dates cud be fun they wer pass’d by as useless. Just afoare t’ servey wer finish’d yan o’ t’ number calls hoot, “All ‘een ta t’ front, ah see bewty o’ two legs.” At that, ivvery I wer ta’t spot in a jiffy, an lo an’ behold, thar wer yan o’ Adam’s fairest dowters wokin across t’ village green; i’ size she’y leak’d nut less ner forty feet hee, bud luvly i’ t’ extreme, an’ plumper ner t’ Craven Heifer ivver warr. All t’ lot declair’d it wer t’ grandist seet they’d seen sin the’ started. Orders wer gean ta march; they sean reach’d t'”Bank Fout” an’ forrard ta t’ sine at t’ Oddfellows, kept be’y Sent Andre’y an’ hiz wife. Derektly efter t’ Society had landid at Hebdin, a messenger com up i’ full gallop fra Gerston, an’ statid ‘at t’ Mare an’ Corporashun o’ Gerston, hevin heeard ‘at this Lernid Society wer boon ta pass throo ther aneshunt toon, they wish’d on behoaf o’ thersens an’ t’ inhabitants ta prezent ’em wi’ an address. Efter a short consultashun it wer agreed ta accept it, providid they cud dew it i’ five minutes an’ three seconds. T’ messenger wer dispatch’d wi t’ Anty-Queerans complements ta Mr. Mare an’ hiz Corporashun, acceptin’ t’ offer on t’ condishuns naim’d. Efter paying due attenshun ta ther conntryman, at Hebdin, – Mr. Selebratid Pateley Ale – t’ Society yance marr moov’d forrard, an’ before they reeach’d t’ hoaf wa’ hoose, they cud hear soonds o’ sweet music witch wer borne on t’ breezes, an’ wer sines ‘at oade Gerston wer all alive an’ on t’ tip taaeh ov expektashun. Wen they com i’ seet o’ t’ toon they saw t’ “flag ‘at brav’d a thoosand ‘ears,” wavin’ it ‘t wind ower monny a chimler top. “Nearer now, an’ nearer still” com soonds o’ stirrin’ marshall music, witch seem’d ta mak t’ varra fosills i’t oade limestone walls dance fer joy. Arrangements wer at yance maaide ‘at t’ president sud reply ta t’ Address. They had noo reeach’d suburbs an’ cud see ‘at Royal Craven Voluntear Harriers led be’y ther band, wer hedin a processhun ta meet ’em. Orders wer at yance gean fer t’ nine ta mount ther spektikals, witch i’ size wer like lamps i’t’ frunt o’ an engine; ere they wer moontid t’ prosseshun met ’em, t’ band wheel’d aboot an’ people hevin’ dividid, let t’ R. C. V. H: return, followed be’y Anti-Queerans; t’ next, Mare an’ hiz Corporashun dress’d i’ ther robes, maaide o’ t’ skins o’ t’ finest Craven Heifers ‘at cud be fun; an’ jewels hung roon’d ther neks maaide o’ polish’d limestone. T’ cheerin’ wer sa loud wal it echo’d fra Kilsey Crag down ta Bowton Brig, a thing ‘at had nivver been nawn befoar. T’ prosseshun march’d inta t’ Market plaise; then twice roon’d t’ Foontan; then doon t’ Devonshire back yard, doon a narro passage inta t’ Wood loan an’ t’ frunt o’t’ Jobbers’ Arms. Wen all gat quietand doon, t’ Toon Clerk moontid a wall top, an’ red t’ followin’ Address.

GENTLEMEN,
“Members o’ ye Aneshunt an’ Lernid Society o’ Anty-Queerans, o’ Pateley Brigg.”
We, t’ Mare an’ t’ Corporashun o’ t’ town o’ Gerston, feel this ta be prowdist moment ov hower llves. (cheers) We feel prowd ta think ‘at we sud hev t’ I honour ta prezent this Address ta yo; an’ ‘at yo so willin’ly consentid ta accept it wen we ex’d yo. T’ fame o’ yower Lernid Society had been nawn i’ Gerston, fer lang, i’ spite ov ho t’ snaw an’ rane ‘at ivver com down; an’ i’ spite ov ho t’ contrary winds ‘at wer ivver nawn ta blaw ayther o’ Cawdstanes, Greenhahill, er Fancarl Top. (Tremendous cheerin’, all t’ nine noddin assent.) We sud hev been happy ta hev shown yo sum oade aneshunt relics o’ bygone ages – witch is easy fun i’ sum o’ hower bak yards i’ t’ town, – bud as yo can’t stop, we ex yo ta leak on a finer pikter be’y t’ hoaf – a pikter witch is nawn ta plaise ivvery Anty-Queeran, though it is modern one. We therefor ex yo ta servey w’ yower powerful speks t’ crow’d now assembl’d, an’ see if hower fair ones weant bear cumparysan we onny ta be fun i’t wide wide world.”
DANIEL HOWSTHOW, Esq., MARE.
BARNABY HEXHAM, TOWN CLERK.

Efter treadin’ ov t’ address, hats, caps, wite pokit ancutchers, shawls, &c., wer thrawn up: yah pooer woman ‘at had a barn i’ her arms, it moment ov her excitement aktly threw t’ barn up, bud fortunately sumbody close tul her kept it, er t’ consequences mite a been fatal.

Efter silence had been declar’d, t’ President o’ t’ Society o’ Anty-Queerans – a jolly gud leakin’ ‘fello wi a smilin’ countenance, fit ta be’y president ov onny society – even yan cumposed o’ nowt bud ladies-gat up an’ sed –

MR. MARE,
LADIES AN’ GENTLEMEN,
Efter t’ varra flatterin’ manner i’ witch we, t’ members ov t’ Aneshunt an’ Lernid Society ov Anty-Queerans, hez been received be’y yer honourable sens, an’ t’ publik o’ this toon, my duty becums a pleasin’ yan. First it is pleasin’ becos i’ youer address ye refer us ta t’ bewty o’ t’ gentler sex o’ youer toon an’ neeberhud, an’ a opinion i’ witch mesen an’ brother members hartyly concur, fra t’ specymens wi’ see i’ this assembly; fer me’y awn part ah consider ’em matchless, an’ my opinion on sike matters is nawn ta be’y A one, simply becos I izzant wed, therefore, my thowts is kept i’ practise. An’ further, it is a weal nawn fakt ‘at all Anty-Queerans hez a gud I ta wat is bewtyful.

I awlso beg ta thank ye’y fer t’ wa’ ye hev spokken o’ t’ fame at this Society hez haddle’d; an’ beg ta sa ‘at nayther wind ner weather can distroy it, be it warst ov all winds that is t’ wind ov an evil speaker. (Cheers an’ cries thow’s reet lad).

I agane thank ye’y most hartyly, an’ t’ next time we cum this wa’ we will visit all t’ neaks an’ corners o’t’ oade aneshunt toon o’ Gerston.

Befoare ah sit doon ah hev t’ inexpressable pleazure i’ proposin’ three times three fer yer Worthy Mare, Daniel Howsthow, Esquire.

T’ cheerin’ wer noo terrific; it aktly browt Tom Lister sign doon, an’ two er three marr it neeberhud.

Wen t’ cerymunny wer endid ivveryboddy seem’d ta be’y dry, baith teetotallers an’ sensibal men, an’ they all evidently thowt t’ best wa’ ta gratify ther dryness wer ta git summat ta drink, fer a general rush wer maaide fer t’ publics. T’ Mare, t’ Anty-Queerans, an’ ther friends went inta t’ “Jobbers Arms,” an’ had sundry bottles o’ phiz i’t’ ball room. A quadrille band wer stashund at yah end, an’ Mr. Mare wad hev t’ President ta tak hiz wife, an’ t’ Paymaister General, hiz oadist dowter – a job they baith jump’d at – t’ hev just a nod spin roon’d t’ room; bud a dozan didant satisfy ’em.

Time wer coled, an’ then began shakkin’ ov hans, an’ sum nippin ’em warr it suited, witch maaide t’ wite o’ monny a ee turn up an’ produce thowts ‘at “spak looder ner words.” T’ seats wer tean yance marr it trap, an’ awa went t’ Anty-Queerans amid deeafnin’ cheers. Another stoppage wer ta be’y maaide at Threshfield, ta pertak o’ t’hospitality ov a gentleman weal nawn ta all t’ society. He hiz a prominent member o’t honerable society o’ Geologists. Efter dewin justice tuv hiz welcum’d spred an’ marr leave takkin, t’ horses wer put intav a gallop, an’ awa went t’ excurshonists full o’ life, produced be’y sundry ingredients, an’ hoot gredients; yan on ’em singin’ amidst all t’ laffin an’ chaffin’.–

“My wife sal dance, an’ ah sal sing,
So merrily pass the da’;
Fer ah hold it one o’ t’ wisest things,
To drive dull care awa.”

T’ scenery alang t’ route efter leavein’ “Catch–ho,” until they com ta “Cracoe Town End” wer luvly i’t’ extreme, witch com in fer its sharr o’ noatis. T’ wa lay thence be’y Hetton an’ Airton. Befoare t’ latter plaise wer reeach’d “darkness o’er spread the earth, an’ gross darkness the people, fer ivvery mile ‘at wer travill’d, browt ’em too er three miles farther awa, at least if they belee’vd t’ foak the’ ass’d; as t’ song sez–

“Thou art sa near, an’ yet sa far-“

Eventually Airton wer landid, an’ be’y gert lifts an’ lile uns, Kirby Malham, baith man an’ beast nearly famished; sum reasonable refreshments, a song be’y t’ Paymaister-General ta cheer ther drooping spirits efter passin throo t’ valley o’ starvashun, an awa agane ta Malham, wear they knew t’ supper wad be’y waitin on ’em. Ther destinashun fer t’ neet wer noo sean reeach’d, a pull up at frunt o’ t’ “Listers Arms browt t’ da’s jerney tav an end. A shout fer joy wer gean be’y all t’ nine witch wer echo’d bit Cove ‘at resides a bit aboon. Efter sum marr let doon ta wesh t’ inside, sum wather an’ other requisites ta wesh t’ hootside, supper wer declar’d ready.

At that, t’ nine jump’d up, puttin’ on ther speks, all bud t’ President, he had lost hiz ‘by the wa’; bud he borrad a pair o’ gig lamps, witch difference few people cud see; then woke’d three deep ta’t dinin’ room as silent as mutes until they gat sat doon. T’ Captain then red t’ rowl call, each member anserin tav hiz number fra yan ta nine.

T’ room wer noo fill’d wi’ music pleasin to a hungry sowl, at least if he wer takken a part int. Scarsely a word wer spokan except noo an’ then yan er another brast hoot, “its nice,” “its varra nice.” Ah, le tak a bit marr please. Efter a time t’ moovment chang’d ta slo, er ad’ lib. Then first yah performer an’ another dropp’d off till t’work wer finish’d. Efter sittin a wile commentin on t’ da’s proceedin’s, hevin a weed er pipe wi’ a grog tult orders wer gean ta moont aloft. T’nine wer devided, been told off i’ threes. Wen allwer thowt ta hev enter’d ther rooms a knock wer heer’d at t’room deer occupied be’y 7 8 an’ 9. All wer silent within, another knock still all wer silent. Another interval efter witch t’ voice ov an angry female wer heeard ont landin. “Will ye hoppan this dewer,” naah reply – “deah think yer boon ta be’y t’ maister all at yance,” “hoppan this dewer ah sa, er ah’le brek it hoppan.” No. 8, bein ‘t Captain, wok’d up ta t’ deer wi’ his speks on an’ oppen’d it. T’ Maaide rush’d in an’ number 9 efter her, fer hede been fasen’d hoot. She wad hev box’d Captain’s ‘ears bud she’y saw number 7 at hiz devoshuns, witch browt her tav her senses an’ calm’d her angry spirit.

Sumtime durin’ early mornin, No. 6 a dark leakin’ hairy chap wer fun fishin wi’t towel i’ t’wather jug i’ hiz bed-room. Wen ass’d wat he wer dewin he sed hede gittan leave o’ Mr. Morrison fer a da’s fishin i’ t’ Tarn, he wer i’ sike earnist wal it end he ram’d hiz hand doon ta’t boddum o’ t’ jug an’ bawl’d hoot he had him, bud t’wather bein coad it wakken’d him an he leak’d fer a bit as if he wer hoaf droondid. Efter a wile all t’ nine wer alarm’d be’y a voice like thunner fra sum wear aboon callin hoot, “Betty! Betty! ah say Betty! hev wi’ta dew HAM for t brekfast this mornin.” T’ nine all gat tagither i’ ther neet shirts quickly, fer they felt alarm’d thinkin they intendid ta cook sum member o’ t’ society fert brekfast er if nut they wer takkin yan o’ ther foonders naimes i’ vain. It wer thowt best ta dress an’ of doon stares ta be ready fer onny immergency bud nowt na marr wer heard aboot t’ voice fra aboon.

Gordale Scar wer visited an eggsamin’d throo ther spektikals an’ gig lamp, an order’d ta be’y enter’d i’ ther beaks as yan o’t’ gert wonders o’ t’ world. Efter brekfast a prosesshun wer formd’d three deep ta t’ Cove, hedid be’y a Royal Bagpiper, efter t’ Members, follow’d Thias Headstrang, Poet, Chareman, an Mewshishuner o’t’ plaise, followin him wer all t’ oade wimmin it village i’ ther clog pattens singin yan o’ Sankeys Wunderful Melodies.

On arrivin’ at t’ Cove a general servey wer maaide, its heet measur’d, weet o’ t’ t’ rock calculatid be’y No. 9 t’ Society Engineer, an notid doon it beak o’ remembrances’ as been biggist wonder yet seen. Wen all ther bizness matters wer finish’d t’ Poet Heeadstrang resitid sum lines ov hiz awn makin on a lad at wer kill’d be’y fallin doon t’ rock. Then t’ bagpiper strake up a Hornpipe witch maaide all t’ oade wimmin thraw ther pattens of, seaze t’ men, an’ sike a ball that Cove nivver saw sin he first wakken’d i’ t’ plaise heze in. A good deal o’ time wer spent at t’ Cove afoar t’ party return’d ta t’ dinner wi’ lislin t’ oade wimmin toke aboot saah an’ saah, an’ sum on ’em singin’ sangs. It end orders wer gean ta retreat, an’ i’ deain saah, toke aboot singin’ ! diddant t’ oade girls gi’ mooth noo, they’d had a drop o’ summat witch lifted ther oade spirits up an maaide ’em jolly. Efter dinner t’ Buck Inn wer visited, t’ poet Heeadstrang accumpanin t’ anty-queerans, ta hev a glass a grog an’ a weed wi’ t’ landlord. Then a start wer maaide fer Settle t’ next stage o’ t’ jerney, On leavin Malham all t, oade wimmin as weal as t’ yung ans wer hoot ta cheer t’ party on departin’.

A run was noo maaide fer ther destinashun be’y wa o’ Lang Preston, wear a halt wer call’d at t’ “Boars Head” ta refresh t’ inner man. Then awa agane as fast as t’ horses cud jog along. In a short time they wer put doon at t’ “Golden Lion Hotel,” witch wer t’ quarters for t’ neet. Efter a jolly tuck hoot, sum o’ t’ plaises ov interest wer visited. T’ first t’ ebbin an’ flowin well at Giggleswick aboot witch t’ whimsical Author, Drunken Barnaby in hiz journal sez

“Thence to Giggleswick most sterile,
Hemm’d with rocks and shelves of peril;
Near to th’ way as traveller goeth,
A fresh spring both ebbs and floweth ;
Neither know the learn’d that travel
What procures it salt or gravel.”

Sum wad have lik’d to hev gaen ta Austwick ta see sum o’ t’ carle’s ta ass ’em aboot whittle ta’t tree, bud time waddant permit. Castleberg wer t’ next moontid an t’ anty-queerans wer weal repay’d fer ther jerney ta’t top, fer t’ scenery fra its summit is baith extensive an’ bewtyful i’ t’ extreme. Nite wer noo cumin on a pace an’ t’ next moove must be ta turn in an’ enjoy t’ evening at t’ Hotel witch wer dun ta perfektshun an’ compleshun baith wi’ song, glee an’ all other requsites.

T’ Society had ta leave Settle varra imperfectly dun owin’ ta ther time bein short i’ t’ plaise, they hevin ta start early i’t’ mornin homeward bound, be’y wa o’ Skipton, thence bak be’y Gerston, at witch plaise they had ther likenesses taen in a group, o’ copy or witch wer presented privately ta Mrs Mare, an’ anotherta’t Corporashun. Copies o’ this group can be had ov all pikter sellers i’t’ kindum at a reasonable price. This aneshunt an’ lernid society of anty-queerans then maaide fer heeame witch they reeach’d i’ safety efter a three da’s jerney, wiser bud nut sadder men ner wen the started. Thus addin one more volume to ther already choice library o’ rare works.

4830 words.

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• Airton (1) ·
• Antiquities (3) ·
• Austwick (1) ·
• Blackah, Thomas (1828-95) (2), miner and dialect poet born at Hardcastle, near Greenhow Hill, between Pateley Bridge and Grassington ·
• Brathwait(e), Richard (1588-1673) (3), Kendal-, Oxbridge-, London-and Catterick-based poet and landowner ·
• Cracoe (1) ·
• Craven District (4) ·
• Giggleswick (2) ·
• 📌Grassington (3), also Gerston ·
• Hetton, North Yorkshire (1) ·
• Kirkby Malham (2) ·
• Long Preston (1) ·
• Malham Cove (4) ·
• 📌Malham (4) ·
• Noah’s Ark (3) ·
• 📌Pateley Bridge (4) ·
• Poetry (71) ·
• Ribblesdale (1) ·
• Sacred Songs and Solos (1) ·
• Settle, North Yorkshire (3) ·
• Threshfield (1) ·
• Travel literature (3) ·
• Wharfedale (9) ·

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