Yorkshire Almanac A Lancastrian libertarian travels to Leeds to learn

1 October 2010: A Lancastrian libertarian travels to Leeds to learn

Cliff Laine. 2010/10/01. In Which Looby Goes to Leeds. Gay Nazi Sex Vicar in Schoolgirl Vice Knickers Disco Lawnmower Shock! Online: Cliff Laine. Reproduction by kind permission of the author. Get it:

Unedited excerpt

If an excerpt is used in the book, it will be shorter, edited and, where applicable, translated.

To Leeds for my first PhD supervision.

Managed to dodge my train fare as far as Manchester and pinch a sandwich and a croissant from Sainsbury’s. I arrived at my department facing a door. I asked the secretary “How do I get in here?” “Er… just push it.” It had a keypad next to it and I thought you had to be taken into a windowless room, covered in honey and buggered with the neck of a lute, before the secret code that grants unlimited access to the School of Music at the University of Leeds would be revealed. I paid the first instalment of my fees (less my scholarship, it comes to 744 pounds), my fingers anxiously hovering over the keypad as I waited to see if I had that enough credit on my card.

Afterwards I went to The Angel. I love that pub. People come and sit next to you and it’s assumed that the conversation is collective rather than private. “This woman wolf-whistled at me the other day.” “Was it her rape alarm?” Someone told of a wronged wife throwing a kettle of boiling water over a husband who went with a prossie.

In the station, a chemically painted woman clasped a man to her. I could see her face resting on his shoulder during their embrace. She looked like she was bearing it, watching herself. I started mentally sneering at them for their lack of authenticity before realising that we all do this in the various contexts in which we need to present ourselves.

A young woman on the train back was carrying a folder saying “a toolkit for Arts Award advisers” on its spine. She’s a teacher and had come back from York after doing a course, the content of which sounded to me like another chapter in the way that meaningless documentary evidence is substituted for competence or the desire to do something. But at least her eyelashes were natural, unlike the performing girlfriend on Leeds station.

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To facilitate reading, the spelling and punctuation of elderly excerpts have generally been modernised, and distracting excision scars concealed. My selections, translations, and editions are copyright.

Comment

Re photos for the book: Chris W.‘s shot of one Brian Lawrenceson after exiting the Angel is brilliant, so I’ll need to have a chat about rights:

Brian Lawrenceson after coming out of The Angel Inn, Leeds

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Comment

Re photos for the book: Chris W.‘s shot of one Brian Lawrenceson after exiting the Angel is brilliant, so I’ll need to have a chat about rights:

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Although a brief search didn’t throw up the date for 1874, other mentions in the period suggest that the Pateley races were held on the penultimate Monday of September – the 21st in 1874 – and in corroboration the first (rugby) football match in Nidderdale was held on this day at Pateley Bridge between Harrogate and Pateley and district. Re the 1877 feast:

The weather was fine, and though threatening clouds hung about during the morning, the country people turned out in strong force. There was a large contingent of pleasure seekers from Harrogate and other towns within easy reach of Pateley Bridge, which is approached by a single line from Harrogate, and the trains were crowded to excess. Hence the one narrow street which gives the appellation of Town to Pateley Bridge was thronged long before the sports were to commence, but the people who flocked in from the surrounding villages found plenty of amusement. Bands of music paraded the town, and an itinerant nigger band excited the greatest admiration of their rural audience. The races, which were the chief item in the afternoon’s programme, were held in a field on the side of the river Nidd, and close to the town, and there was a very large company present. The entries for the various events were larger than on any previous occasion. Each event was run in heats, and though the proceedings can hardly be dignified by the name of sport, yet the contests produced much amusement. There were several gentlemen who might by way of compliment be called bookmakers present, but their offers were of the most illiberal description. The betting is, of course, not quotable, though there was a good deal of wagering for small money on the various races.
(York Herald 1877/09/25)

In 1863 a connecting train from Leeds to Pateley Bridge via Harrogate cost 5s. return 1st class or 2s. in covered carriages.

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