Tweets for December 2016

Bio: Kazoo Academy & Barrel Organ Disco/Yorkshire Almanac/translator Romance & Germanic languages & Russian/old-style jazz trombone & vocals/brass bands/allotmenteer

Thu Dec 01 08:53 John Collins (1742-1808) on an amputated impressionist
Thu Dec 01 08:59 Gato por liebre por conejo por cheese on toast
Thu Dec 01 09:02 I used to work with someone who took the ear off a horse with a glider. Horse confirmed it
Thu Dec 01 09:13 Cardew eaten alive by CIA running chihuahuas but his doggerel drags on
Thu Dec 01 10:34 When Breweries Close There must be hundreds staggering on like this
Fri Dec 02 06:31 WTF did I bet with the market on Zac? Not that kind of year
Fri Dec 02 07:47 RT @hackneypreacher: it tolls for thee . . . Whitechapel Bell Foundry to close @thegentleauthor
Fri Dec 02 15:18 Indo-European fun: Romanian amurg, twilight / English murk, darkness. Doesn't look that dark inside:
Sat Dec 03 12:11 I mean, why would @BootsUK want their online shop to work on Chrome?
Sat Dec 03 12:54 Articles: Russians don't care if the tree fell on a commissar, a tree fell on a commissar, the tree fell on the ...
Sun Dec 04 09:39 Hope no-one knocks these monstrous WTFs down
Sun Dec 04 10:57 New blog post: Doggerel & the death of democracy, inc Rick Astley, Michael Fassbender, Bugs Bunny & John Taylor
Sun Dec 04 20:03 Cito: "Por el culo te vas a meter tu el lapiz friki de mierda"
Tue Dec 06 07:49 Power generation must be cheaper in Russia
Tue Dec 06 07:53 Comment: @elorganillero
Tue Dec 06 09:16 Post-Brexit UK closer to USA, so let's end the @DrSamuelJohnson-Noah Webster spelling schism, then fix "schism"
Tue Dec 06 09:18 Presumably not just about mayoral vs mayorial
Tue Dec 06 12:20 El último organito: neo-semiología del tango jajaja
Tue Dec 06 13:53 Dilbert on the merits of learning a foreign language
Wed Dec 07 08:05 Mafia 1, Dalston Lane’s Georgian terraced houses 0 via @hackneycitizen
Wed Dec 07 08:33 Missing my brain
Wed Dec 07 08:45 Déjà facking revue: someone playing back the previous song on mobile while one is busy with the next
Wed Dec 07 12:53 RT @estwebber: Supreme Court President Lord Neuberger: "That way madness can be said to lie - if you start looking at everything said in Pa…
Wed Dec 07 13:45 A proper freaking arrangement: Cantabile/The London Quartet: Strangers in the night
Thu Dec 08 07:43 But did the extra doing the Ts get royalties?
Thu Dec 08 19:32 I'd never heard the Abbado Lucerne recordings - absolutely phenomenal
Thu Dec 08 20:01 Comment: @elorganillero uf
Thu Dec 08 21:40 RT @TripeUK: Tripe is not available in orange.
Thu Dec 08 21:41 Comment: @JustinJerez @TelegraphTravel Because Justin may be there, obv
Thu Dec 08 22:04 Forman smoked salmon allergen advice: Contains FISH
Thu Dec 08 22:16 Comment: @elorganillero Thanks, experts
Sat Dec 10 14:43 Someone around here was the tenant of a Protestant farmer in rural Ulster in the late 1960s
Sun Dec 11 08:39 Celebrity Prayer Candle Rankings, 2016
Sun Dec 11 08:45 Comment: @tombcn Perhaps he was a good cook.
Sun Dec 11 08:46 Insomnia: when you'd give anything to get back to that dream in which you just fell off a mountain.
Sun Dec 11 08:48 RT @DavidSamFrancis: Every home team has scored three goals today. This is the third Saturday from Christmas. Coincidence? #WakeUpSheeple #…
Sun Dec 11 12:03 Nathaniel Hawthorne re alcohol minimum unit pricing's disproportionate effect on the poor #EUAlcoholStrategy
Sun Dec 11 12:04 Comment: @elorganillero
Sun Dec 11 16:59 A gorilla walks into a fruit shop & is banned for life
Sun Dec 11 17:46 Kestrel just followed me across Walthamstow Marsh. Since I'm 6 foot & inedible, I guess people are feeding it bacon butties. #urbankestrel
Sun Dec 11 21:57 Comment: @JustinJerez Don't say that!
Mon Dec 12 15:48 siesta, and then once more into my breeches
Mon Dec 12 15:53 Brilliant
Mon Dec 12 17:25 A Little-Known Ancient Military Tactic
Mon Dec 12 19:46 Coop tonic is tonic. Musicians want supertonic.
Tue Dec 13 07:16 Soviet Santa's gonna steal yer sock
Tue Dec 13 09:13 Criadillas navideñas pa todos
Tue Dec 13 13:44 legal translation = potboilerplate?
Tue Dec 13 14:41 "Highly probable" that Russia is behind my cat's mood swings
Tue Dec 13 16:24 aggroname
Tue Dec 13 17:03 @PracticalLawUK Just curious re your launch date for online transactional services for retail users. Simple stuff could be way cheaper...
Wed Dec 14 08:17 Assad pronounces "terrorist" like "tourist", no? Fit with optimality theory?
Wed Dec 14 10:04 Comment: @elmundotoday Ali G: Is it because I is black?
Wed Dec 14 17:09 Fastest music box in the world Not for all music-lovers
Wed Dec 14 20:13 how can there NOT be a barrel organ in this?
Wed Dec 14 23:09 Si no pueden, volveré a torear
Thu Dec 15 08:35 If you don’t talk to your kids about quantum computing, someone else will
Thu Dec 15 10:40 Brecht/money joke from Gisela May
Thu Dec 15 10:40 Comment: @elorganillero RIP
Thu Dec 15 10:44 @Stephenmevans1 Reminds me of years ago when hospitals woke patients early. Sunday I hoped for a lie-in: cue the Sally Army band outside
Thu Dec 15 11:46 why do i find auctions so comforting, even when no interest?
Thu Dec 15 17:55 Trevor's Axiom #proud
Thu Dec 15 21:11 Petersburg busker
Thu Dec 15 21:45 voorbeeldrol -> exemplary turd, that's what it says here
Thu Dec 15 23:46 My quasi-mammary protuberances are burdened down to the facking ground by Microsoft Word's perverse loathing of the English passive
Fri Dec 16 07:27 synesthetic organs
Fri Dec 16 11:41 Why hasn't Jess Phillips been Labour leader since May 2015? Even opponents would vote for her, unlike parade of preening prats now touted
Fri Dec 16 18:21 Saw Georgian terrace demolition on Dalston Lane, but London will never change etc etc: exciting baseball-bat-on-car action near Kings Cross
Fri Dec 16 18:47 Morgenthaler (which one?) Moritaten in Collinge & Clark: proper freaking bookshop
Fri Dec 16 21:15
Fri Dec 16 22:27 Comment: @elorganillero It used to be BRECHT + weill. No one remembers Bert now.
Sun Dec 18 22:45 No butcher in Winchester, England. WTF
Sun Dec 18 22:48 Comment: @ibexsalad Whatever next? Convents without virgins?
Mon Dec 19 08:14 RIP
Mon Dec 19 11:16 RT @DianaJohnsonMP: Another hilarious card this year from Nick Brown MP.
Thu Dec 22 19:05 OpenReach operative says well-communicated Hants village should be grateful corroded copper cable is from 1963 not 1948 #superfastbroadband
Sat Dec 24 09:39 12 years without the Tricorn, Portsmouth
Sat Dec 24 17:29 Manuel in Fawlty Towers copied from Carlos the Mexican barman in Río Bravo
Sun Dec 25 17:43 Oven fan broken? Put in the bird alive
Sun Dec 25 19:54 Small boy on the street: That man just said Happy Birthday to me.
Mon Dec 26 08:17 Tom Lehrer on Kurt Weill
Mon Dec 26 08:21 Spoke only English in America, except German to his dog
Mon Dec 26 21:24 OK, so Bronze Age archaeologists don't like jokes about tanning salons
Mon Dec 26 21:42 Bathnes = Banes, so Bath council tax = Banegeld?
Thu Dec 29 21:12 So why will no one come with me to Billingsgate?
Thu Dec 29 21:15 Comment: @elorganillero
Thu Dec 29 21:20 You can never cook too many sausages #issafact
Thu Dec 29 22:08 Egyptian friend has discovered that sub-Saharan Africa is a large cave under the desert inhabited by the sane
Sat Dec 31 10:07 Slander is a breeze - I didn't finish off the Xmas cake
Sat Dec 31 12:02 The debasement of the European mind: a populist US senator meets an Italian organ-grinder in Rome in 1859.
Sat Dec 31 23:21 Picture of fish gutted with blunt knife. Pizza next year.