Tweets for August 2022

Bio: Kazoo Academy & Barrel Organ Disco/Yorkshire Almanac/translator Romance & Germanic languages & Russian/old-style jazz trombone & vocals/brass bands/allotmenteer

Mon Aug 01 07:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 1 August 2022: Then: 1813: The 51st Foot mark Minden (later also Yorkshire) Day with bay leaves, not white roses, as they drive the French back over the Pyrenees. 1833: At Kelfield (E.R.), Hannah Beedham fails to fulfil her prophecy of…
Mon Aug 01 08:26 Moorish dancing
Mon Aug 01 18:25 Comment: @ChrisNickson2 But with which book should newbies start?
Mon Aug 01 18:32 Comment: @ChrisNickson2 Thanks!
Mon Aug 01 20:20 Bananas/kilo today 78p in the small Sainsbury's at Headingley, 89p in the large Morrisons at the Merrion Centre, stable 72p recalled in Tesco, Well St, London early 2021. Stores tend to lead with them - Carmen Miranda: everyone likes a banana
Mon Aug 01 20:34 Comment: @ibexsalad Revenge for decades of Telegraph articles on Andalusian corruption
Tue Aug 02 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 2 August 2022: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: light rain, temperature 18°C (65°F), wind southerly 13mph, visibility good, pressure 1009mb, humidity 87%, UV risk 0, pollution low…
Tue Aug 02 22:25 Comment: @Dr_Abi_W I couldn't find mine, so Hackney Council gave me an English test - "describe what you did at the weekend"
Wed Aug 03 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 3 August 2022: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: drizzle, temperature 18°C (65°F), wind south westerly 15mph, visibility very good, pressure 1008mb, humidity 87%, UV risk 0, pollution low…
Wed Aug 03 20:12 Mr G talks to Mr W My wonky old eyes love pitchers, but I really have no idea about how they work
Wed Aug 03 20:13 Librarian F, a lovely man, has taken to bright portraiture with pencil & felt tips - "like Tintin & Asterix" - "when I was a child there was no colour in my life, but I'm making up for it now"
Wed Aug 03 20:15 Comment: Also: "When I read to the children's groups, I always say to D, 'Now, I'm going to try to do it like Mr ApSimon'." I'm obviously fishing for a booking.
Thu Aug 04 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 4 August 2022: Then: 1661: The tenant of St. Robert's cave (Knaresborough) tells John Ray about the time the holy man refused to visit King John. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 14°C (57°F), wind south westerly 8mph,…
Thu Aug 04 19:27 The brief delusion that pleas of Covid (nice bright fat red line) will put the toddler off a playground trip: - Get up, daddy, stop sitting on chairs!
Thu Aug 04 19:33 Comment: At the playground, a small boy who keeps coming up: "Hello, my name is James." Echoes of Lothar's story of how, as a small boy, before they fled Czech at the end of WWII, his parents rigorously taught him his name, which, he repeated at school until thumped & told to shut up
Thu Aug 04 19:47 Comment: And then there was a 7-yo pupil who walked into the room with his trumpet case and came over to me and shook my hand, saying, "My name is James G, and I only have half a brain." So I threw him out of the window.
Fri Aug 05 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 5 August 2022: Then: 1661: John Ray encounters a pregnancy test device under Ripon cathedral. 1661: John Ray visits Copgrove (Harrogate), the pauper's spa. 1685: John Thompson, an ex-excommunicant, is left in his shroud in Leeds parish…
Fri Aug 05 13:43 Wagner vs Mozart Group recalls the effort post WWII to wrest German culture back from Wagner & apocalypse to Goethe & civilisation, which recalls the broken face of Goethe in the tiled café at @LeedsArtGallery, destroyed in WWI by crass xenophobes & shamefully still unrestored
Fri Aug 05 13:46 Comment: The vandalism of Goethe adds to the curiously Soviet air the café has at the moment - quiet, with generally no food, & presided over by a Russian waitress who the toddler absolutely adores
Fri Aug 05 13:52 Comment: Image & WWI ref Examples of post WWII Goethe-isation. Um. Er. Perhaps evokes the Italian Journey.
Fri Aug 05 17:18 Comment: @petersymon Might confound them a bit
Fri Aug 05 17:19 Another bit of the jigsaw of the Germany embassy in Tokyo
Fri Aug 05 21:07 Comment: Objection: restoration is boring. So a lateral rose stem in iron + red ceramic roses grows out of the cavity along the ceiling, out of the aisle & into the nave thru the first arch. On the wall below a plaque with his friend Marianne von Willemer's 'Zarter Blumen reich Gewinde'
Sat Aug 06 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 6 August 2022: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 9°C (49°F), wind westerly 9mph, visibility very good, pressure 1028mb, humidity 84%, UV risk 0, pollution low…
Sat Aug 06 19:41 Garden incredibly relaxing, as long as the 2 metre-high tomatoes can be detained in the greenhouse
Sat Aug 06 19:55 is marvellous, but for me & small people I'd also like a simplified, not-to-scale interactive - a few steps on from coins on the table
Sat Aug 06 20:36 Biting the bullet: most of my Spanish & Catalan organ repertoire will obviously never be performed again, so pruning required
Sun Aug 07 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 7 August 2022: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 12°C (54°F), wind south westerly 8mph, visibility good, pressure 1027mb, humidity 88%, UV risk 0, pollution low…
Sun Aug 07 07:20 Leeds tasting committee now unsure whether Covid improves Morrisons wine I am quite bullish about everything, largely because the holy blackberry glut is here
Sun Aug 07 07:27 Proper clogs
Sun Aug 07 08:31 First barrel organ music sale to Japan. I've exported quite a lot to the States & to what was the territory of the Holy Roman Empire in the early 16th century (word-of-mouth & Google -> website), nothing to France (quelle surprise!) & only a few things to Spain
Sun Aug 07 08:32 Comment: Time for a special Queen's Award, recalling QEI's gift of a mechanical organ to the Ottoman sultan?
Sun Aug 07 08:39 Comment: @DrBeachcombing The Kazakh lady is your friend
Sun Aug 07 11:08 To be fair, Denmark Street's western neighbours were traditionally sometimes known as Cunt Circus
Sun Aug 07 16:24 Butcher S, pruning his roses: - What the fuck are YOU wearing? - My choir overall, which I just found. Wanted to see if it fitted. Polifònica Industrial was a curious... - It doesn't. You look like a poofter. - Do YOU want it then? Old C, passing: - You look sensational, my dear.
Sun Aug 07 16:26 What to do with the new garage as the Tories prepare to completely tank the economy: fill it with beer (hyperinflation) vs sell the door (deflation)?
Sun Aug 07 16:36 A dream of the Hague summer afternoon when I deduced the plans of the fugitive smacked-up roboticist & set out, with spectacularly beautiful office manager MvW as bait, to capture him at the shore at the ferry at Hoek. But now set in a German bus station.
Sun Aug 07 20:20 Dick van Dyke's accents in Mary Poppins: part of a bet to test Walt Disney's iron faith in him? Walt's masterplan to satisfy even sceptical adults? I used to know someone ideologically & nationally opposed to Disney, but I don't imagine ii) would have worked on her.
Mon Aug 08 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 8 August 2022: Then: 1514: Sir Thomas Wortley's death inaugurates the memorial he has built for himself at Wharncliffe. 1863: The police are invited to Woodhouse Moor (Leeds) for an illegal cricket match designed to test the byelaws…
Mon Aug 08 21:38 What I think is the particularly British custom of spending time & money on one's garden during the cold months, only to bugger off to somewhere unpleasantly hot as soon as everything blooms
Mon Aug 08 21:45 Toddler in her chariot this morning brandishing orb (unripe hazelnut retrieved from the squirrels) & sceptre (some shrivelled herb)
Mon Aug 08 22:41 Little J has been on holiday: - On Friday we went to Northumberland, on Saturday we went to Scotland, and on Sunday we went to Blackpool. - What was the best thing that happened? A moment's thought: - When my dad got scammed on the motorway and they took all his money.
Tue Aug 09 07:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 9 August 2022: Then: 1661: John Ray encounters kelp-makers on the coast between Scarborough and Whitby. Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 11°C (51°F), wind north westerly 5mph, visibility good, pressure 1029mb,…
Tue Aug 09 09:21 The old joke about wolves at the door - trying to get out
Tue Aug 09 20:46 Very high UV today in central Leeds, but on our visit to the toddler urban beach, while all the black & brown kids were digging in the shade, all the white kids were in the sun. Yet @CR_UK doesn't mention cultural risk. No research, or just coincidence today?
Tue Aug 09 20:47 Comment: This one obviously chose the sun, so there's muggins providing shade - a walking parasol, the Atlas of solar radiation
Tue Aug 09 20:50 Reports that toddler has started breaking into full-length show tunes & initiating absurdist dialogue. E.g.: - Baby has started going to school now. - How time flies! - Yeah, but watcha going to do?
Tue Aug 09 22:09 Comment: (N & S are two originally fair-skinned, long-term sun worshippers. N was operated today for skin cancer, and so S spent the entire afternoon sunbathing in celebration)
Tue Aug 09 23:49 RT @george_szirtes: #Larkin100 Philip Larkin Goes to the Gym - parody of Aubade - from Thirty Poets Go to the Gym (Candlestick Press) https…
Wed Aug 10 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 10 August 2022: Then: 1870: Ben Hardacre's ode to the laying, this day, of the foundation stone of Bradford Town Hall. Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 13°C (55°F), wind south easterly 6mph, visibility good,…
Wed Aug 10 21:48 Hottest man in the world
Thu Aug 11 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 11 August 2022: Then: 1863: A painful scene at the burial of Adam Watson at Worsbrough Dale (Barnsley). Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 14°C (57°F), wind south easterly 7mph, visibility good, pressure 1024mb,…
Thu Aug 11 19:37 The annual contrast between the dark rich old blackberry jam & the new stuff. And I can smell the roses again.
Thu Aug 11 20:47 Presumably part of the Truss master-comfort-plan to make those older than her feel like she's borderline senile
Fri Aug 12 07:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 12 August 2022: Then: 1439: Joan Cantcliffe, widow, purchases a lifetime annuity and lease in the undercroft of the hall of the Mistry of Mercers (the Merchant Adventurers), York. Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature…
Fri Aug 12 19:55 Comment: @petersymon But you can't walk across yet?
Fri Aug 12 20:02 Old men. - I lent E my lawnmower, it were brilliant, one of them that floats, like this. - A hovercraft. - Yeah, so then I said, can I have my lawnmower back, & the one he gave me back were completely different. Must have lent it to someone, & then borrowed another one.
Fri Aug 12 20:05 Comment: - But why do you both need a lawnmower? They cut your grass for nothing. - It's a matter of principle. - Do you wish you hadn't retired at 60? - I were looking at the jobs the other day, butchery manager 38K, production 18 pound an hour. It's been 17 years, but I could do that.
Fri Aug 12 20:25 Someone left a posh wheelbarrow in the garden last night. Counter-terrorism says it's not boobytrapped.
Fri Aug 12 21:04 Comment: @HPUnityday Do you need to be on Facebook? Nothing here or on your website, can't see anything on Instagram
Fri Aug 12 21:29 Comment: @petersymon So, some serious abstraction downstream
Fri Aug 12 21:30 Comment: @petersymon At last, someone my own age
Sat Aug 13 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 13 August 2022: Then: 1788: Emigrating from Grenada to England, the parrots of William Butterworth of Leeds survive a Caribbean hurricane. 1821: The laments of Ann Barber, adulteress and poisoner, on the scaffold at York Castle. Now:…
Sat Aug 13 11:13 Comment: @petersymon Apparently fleuves don't always drain into the ocean If only the Canal and River Trust had colonial aspirations
Sat Aug 13 11:14 Comment: @tombcn Ban AirBnB & they'll all fall down again
Sat Aug 13 19:33 The notion, in these warm times, that the frequent devotion of South Asian Muslim men to their street-heaters-on-wheels is due to their all having secretly converted to Zoroastrianism
Sat Aug 13 21:24 Slaughtering the tall neighbourhood Victoria plum - the toddler's hawk-eyes plus my 2.5 metre ultra-light, springy, horse chestnut branch
Sun Aug 14 07:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 14 August 2022: Then: 1673: A retired coal miner, unable to live from carding wool, decides to return to work at a pit at Royds Hall (Bradford). Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 14°C (58°F), wind northerly 6mph,…
Sun Aug 14 20:10 Curious why "car-free cities" means "car-free city centres" (great for city officials & tourists) rather than including car-free suburbs (where most of us live our lives)
Sun Aug 14 20:27 Beautiful high-speed pigeon print on the kitchen window. If only lambs flew.
Sun Aug 14 21:15 Comment: @charlottelevene Someone made me sit thru Dogville. Never again.
Mon Aug 15 07:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 15 August 2022: Then: 1677: John Thoresby writes from Leeds to his son Ralph in London recommending he keep a diary. 1781: The ineffably peripatetic John Wesley discovers a movable pulpit in Sheffield. 1805: The Sheffield Volunteer…
Mon Aug 15 20:41 The toddler has acquired the disturbing habit of standing behind persons of a nervous disposition and saying in her best Kirkleatham parrot voice, "Hello mate."
Tue Aug 16 07:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 16 August 2022: Then: 1842: Lancastrian Plug-Drawing rioters invade Skipton in an attempt to halt the mills. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 15°C (59°F), wind westerly 8mph, visibility moderate, pressure 1005mb,…
Tue Aug 16 10:35 The pressure from Yorkshire patriots to visit landmarks
Tue Aug 16 23:01 Nice chamber organ
Wed Aug 17 07:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 17 August 2022: Then: 1561: William Strickland arrives at Flamborough and interviews witnesses of the northerly passage along the coast of Mary, Queen of Scots. 1821: Two slugicidal hedgehogs arrive by mail coach at Anne Lister's in…
Thu Aug 18 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 18 August 2022: Then: 1730: Elizabeth Hawksworth is fatally injured as she tries to climb onto a horse behind her husband. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 11°C (52°F), wind south easterly 5mph, visibility good,…
Thu Aug 18 09:12 Comment: @TheRepairShop Hoping that @david_burville broke the news gently to the good folks of Henley-in-Arden that what they have isn't actually a barrel organ...
Thu Aug 18 09:18 Just because a pub garden kiddies' playhouse has posh interior dec & a mezzanine floor (with mini truck-styled chaise longue & armchair) doesn't mean small adults can get into it without getting stuck
Thu Aug 18 18:35 Ron Todd may be from Walthamstow but he's not as good a poet as Ryan Giggs
Thu Aug 18 18:36 Comment:
Thu Aug 18 19:55 Comment: @Transblawg Sounds like a good way to discover whether under English law "super-injunction" is a euphemism for "shot & incinerated."
Thu Aug 18 19:56 Comment: @Transblawg You're a total influencer
Fri Aug 19 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 19 August 2022: Then: 1728: An elderly gamekeeper at Pilley recalls the extrajudicial execution of a Dodworth man on the orders of young Sir Francis Wortley during the Civil War. 1817: An encounter with John Oates of Halifax,…
Sat Aug 20 07:18 Yorkshire Almanac: 20 August 2022: Then: 1915: The final letter to his father of Private Charles Langrick, 1st/5th Bn., The Duke of Wellington’s (West Riding) Regiment. Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 12°C (54°F), wind southerly…
Sat Aug 20 18:53 The harassment of the Koreans (social capital builders) by the Pakistanis (not) was the stuff of Fukuyama, & they will be missed. Now struggling with the idea of travelling there, or anywhere - no flights for 3½ years, & v happy with society limited by walking/cycling distance
Sat Aug 20 20:00 The film list I've needed for a while
Sun Aug 21 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 21 August 2022: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 13°C (56°F), wind south westerly 9mph, visibility good, pressure 1012mb, humidity 88%, UV risk 0, pollution low…
Mon Aug 22 07:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 22 August 2022: Then: 1138: An English army, aided by God, defeats the Scots in the Battle of the Standard near Northallerton. 1572: The head of Thomas Percy, Earl of Northumberland and leader of the Catholic Rising of the North, is…
Mon Aug 22 20:27 Dear fairy godmother, please can I have 20 x ca. 110 ml jam jars tomorrow
Mon Aug 22 21:43 On waking: I need to organize my monkeys.
Tue Aug 23 07:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 23 August 2022: Then: 1681: John Heywood's two-day ordination begins in Craven. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 15°C (60°F), wind south westerly 5mph, visibility moderate, pressure 1011mb, humidity 99%, UV risk 0,…
Tue Aug 23 09:00 Trombone on a scooter simulating motorbike sound. Spain? Guy who posted it probably doesn't know. D: In Bath, every Deliveroo has one
Tue Aug 23 09:00 Comment: Similar
Tue Aug 23 09:01 Comment: Epic
Tue Aug 23 09:35 Comment: @Captain_Bionic And Google's only your GP until you need a prescription or surgery.
Wed Aug 24 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 24 August 2022: Then: 1870: Fakesong by an army captain about the St. Bartholomew's Fair in Swaledale. 1921: The British-built United States Navy R.38 airship collapses, explodes, and crashes into the Humber at Hull, killing 44 of the…
Wed Aug 24 21:57 Comment: @MythicalIberia Manuel Fraga entra en un bar donde un señor está comiendo menudo y le pega una hostia tremenda. - Pero, ¿qué hace usted? protesta el pobre. - ¡Hombre, los callos son míos!
Thu Aug 25 06:59 Comment: @tombcn @Twitter How much cash have they got left?
Thu Aug 25 07:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 25 August 2022: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: light rain, temperature 15°C (59°F), wind north westerly 5mph, visibility good, pressure 1018mb, humidity 87%, UV risk 0, pollution low…
Thu Aug 25 19:54 Nice Paul Kingsnorth via Irwin Chusid
Fri Aug 26 07:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 26 August 2022: Then: 1693: From his death-bed Thomas Sharp, a Leeds nonconformist minister, criticises his wife for hindering his career. 1914: From Pontefract to the mines on the Franco-Belgian border: Cpl. Frederick William Holmes…
Fri Aug 26 20:26 V encouraging agreement in principle with new playdate mum, also afflicted by mid afternoon somnolence: we'll take turns to siesta
Fri Aug 26 20:29 Comment: Little J, back from Ottomania, greets one across the playground with cries of "Daddy," which probably has the same semantic range as "baba" in the tongue of the Sublime Porte
Fri Aug 26 20:48 At last, two red tomatoes, so the entire harvest won't go to green tomato chutney. And the Cosmos may be about to flower!
Fri Aug 26 21:08 Recently modernised Victorian house in Leeds for sale, EPC F. They didn't insulate. Last year, Babylon decided that, rather than retro-insulating its considerable estate, it would accelerate a shift to electric. I guess we're better than Kuwait
Fri Aug 26 22:53 Comment: Graph
Sat Aug 27 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 27 August 2022: Then: 1673: John Holden ambushes and fatally mugs his wife at Lightcliffe, but witnesses are fearful, and the jury sees only manslaughter. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 12°C (54°F), wind easterly…
Sat Aug 27 13:00 Comment: @tombcn Ah, you and your cheap Algerian gas! Just make sure it's not polystyrene, like half of the UK
Sat Aug 27 20:40 I fear the coffee bar waitress encountered with the toddler this morning thought I was spellbound by her eyes, whereas in fact her Italian had transfixed my tiny brain with the happy revelation that there was still a tub of bolognese sauce in the freezer
Sat Aug 27 21:04 Another ten kilos of Victoria plums today, with the British superstick, the German wheelie-bin + pallet tower, and two small girls to chase and collect. (Shops seem to call them British plums, yet another shadow in the twilight of the morons.)
Sat Aug 27 21:07 Comment: @Mr_D_W_R @beccynotbecky I used to run a long nocturnal tarantula-hunting walk across limestone hills near Barcelona at full moon, & superhero tourists (f) used to turn up in high heels
Sun Aug 28 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 28 August 2022: Then: 1661: The York assizes hear of a fatal military brawl at a Malton inn: Constable called Smith (RIP) a rouge (roundhead) and gave not a fart for Charles II's Indemnity Act. Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy,…
Sun Aug 28 14:45 Comment: @DanielWunsch Very nice English eating plums!
Sun Aug 28 20:58 Comment: @lordbonkers A university housemate threw a frozen loaf through the window of my unheated bedroom at the beginning of a snowy Mancunian winter, but his girlfriend kept me warm
Sun Aug 28 21:25 Mouse organ (cf. Bagpuss)
Sun Aug 28 21:44 Comment: @bilbatch Toddler's struggling a bit on the swanee whistle, so maybe this'll inspire
Sun Aug 28 21:59 Comment: @bilbatch Already has a massive drum: our bed. Can't yet hang it round her neck, though.
Sun Aug 28 22:26 Comment: @bilbatch I figure I'm going to sew her & sticks inside a bass drum & sell her to Derren Brown or the Orange Order
Mon Aug 29 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 29 August 2022: Then: 1570: On arriving in Yorkshire, Archbishop Grindal begins his battle against bloody-minded folk-Catholicism. 1914: Don't sew for the troops, says a Rothwell councillor. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud,…
Tue Aug 30 07:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 30 August 2022: Then: 1766: 'I will haf tish man, he gifs my pipes room for to shpeak': organ-builder John Snetzler makes William Herschel, later discoverer of Uranus, organist at Halifax parish church. Now: Weather for tonight: light…
Wed Aug 31 07:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 31 August 2022: Then: 1651: John Wilks (Thompson, Smith...), of Knaresborough gives a York court some insight into the life of a (Catholic) hedge priest. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 12°C (54°F), wind northerly…
Wed Aug 31 20:54 Survived the Yorkshire Dales camping-in-August hypothermia challenge
Wed Aug 31 21:02 Comment: Son to chain-smoking mum: When can I go camping with daddy? Her: Daddy's gone, so now it's camping with mummy. Lovely old guy from N of Worksop, widowed March, allotment plums for toddler, allotment bike (nice 70s racer) & more recent road bike, getting the legs going again...
Wed Aug 31 21:06 Comment: Took the toddler up Embsay Crag from the Cavendish Arms, by accident. Remarkable ability to fall asleep during the most exciting bits, which, combined with her incredible organisational skills, makes one wonder whether she's just saying she'd be happier at home
Wed Aug 31 21:14 No one else seems to have noticed the sewage leaking sporadically down the right bank into Meanwood Beck at (v. approx.) 53.8207,-1.5590 : more investigation required...
Wed Aug 31 21:17 Comment: The tent bits of campsites seem to attract single parents - relatively cheap, relatively sociable - but also happily married & prolific artisans with huge SUVs. Serious hope now that the toddler's experience with plums will lead to a career in plumbing.
Wed Aug 31 21:17 Comment: One of her first puns describes a group of cattle: a cow-wow