Now! Then! In a spoof letter to the new and liberal William IV, a Sheffield metalworker expresses, in dialect, his hopes for the Reform Act and the election then underway

Excerpt

Sur, weest send fore ratlin chaps hate a Yorksher at el doo yo sum gud – all reformers; an we believe at hah yo’l hav a grate majorratta e favor o’t bill, it nekst meetin, yo’l ha sitch a glorias set a reformers az nevver shode ther faces e that ha’ce afooar; an’t reflection o sitch a victora as yo’n getten el be a evverlastin consolation to yer sen, an it al shed sitch a lustre uppa yer name, as toime itsen, we all its changes an revolutions shall nivver, nivver tarnish. Bless yer sowl, mun, yo’n wun all uz harts at won single stroak, an weer all redda to folla ya, o’ther throo muck or blood, as’t case mut requoire. Nah, please yer Madgesta, afooar o bequoit roitin this letter, ween to beg won thing on yo, and that iz, at iv ivver yo cum to Shevvild, at yo’l cum “uppa are hull arston” [“at our hull hearthstone,” in a grinder’s workshop], an bring all yer oud razors we ya, an weel mak em shave loik winkin.

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To facilitate reading, the spelling and punctuation of elderly excerpts have generally been modernised, and distracting excision scars concealed. My selections, translations, and editions are copyright.

Abbreviations

Comment

Wheelswarf: “the yellow sludge formed during grinding on a wet stone” (Bywater 1877).

Yorkshire did indeed return four Whigs in the 1831 election: Viscount Morpeth, George Strickland, John Charles Ramsden, and Sir John Vanden-Bempde-Johnstone.

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Original

At a meetin o’t frends a Reform, held uppa are hull arston, May 7, it furst year a Reform, it wer reggillarly agreed on, at this letter shud be sent to are Royal Reform King:-

Mester King, Sur, – Az wear all on uz won a yoar subjects, we think at hah its nowt bur are duta to express uz joy, an deloit, an admiration, an approbashon, an sitch loik, uppat glorias victora at yon lately getten ore’t ennamiz a reform. Pleaz yer honour, sur, its not are intenshon to puff ya up we prasen ya; bur we will say this, o avver, yo’nt best pluck ov onna chap at’s sitten uppa that throne this menni a year. Yoar summit loik a king, yo are. Yo’n dun moor gud sin yo cum nor hofe a grooas a king’s afooar ya ivver did, an yer name el be raich’t dane to mortalatta, iv ya nivver dun annuther hopeth o gud whoil ya livven; bur we knone varra weel at yoar that sooat an a chap, at yo ca’nt live wethate dooin gud to yer subjects.

Iv ya pleaz yer Madgasta, they yu’st to say abate are tuther king (yer brother, yo kno’n) at hah’t Duke wert chap wot droives the sovrin; bur, Sur, wear varra happa to say, an to see, at yo’n geen things sitch a glorias twist, at nah they sen, at hah’t Sovrin’s t’chap wot droives’t Duke, an we hooap at hah yo’l continna to droive booath’t Duke an all’t burrow mungrin crew till yo’n drivven em all intot Tems.

Sur, they sen hah iv’t reform bill passes into a law at it al shak yer crah’ne of a yer heead – fudge – dont believe em, it el revvit it ten toimes faster on ner ivver. Its nor a loikla thing, mun, wen a king’s crahne’s putten on iz heead be iz ministers an his people, wot tratur dare tutch it. Bur yoar not to be diddled we sitch oud woman jargon as that, no’ther; now, nor sooa, yo’n shone em hah its dun; an wen they varra little expected it anole. An, Sur, its are prayer at yo’l gooa the rig till yen fettled t’oil clean haht. An are advoice iz, at iv’t next parliament wean’t reform, at yo’l oil em hate ageean, an weel warrand it, at they’l o’ther reform or refrain’t next toime. Sur, wen we looken at benefits at this reform bill al put on uz wear rala astonisht at onna bodda shud be so mad as to oppooaz it. One gud effect a this bill el be the makken a 500,000 new constuents throot best ant mooast trustworthy men it land, an al mak moor strength for protectin properta, t’laws ant loyalty at kingdom. Pleaz yer honner, Sur, iz thiz owt loik a revvolushon at silla Wetheril an Peel toke’t aba’te. Bur, it el soon be all up we em, an its are desoir ot yo’l mak it intoo a law, at onna burrowmonger at’s catch’t cuttin iz throit, hangin, or dra’nden iz sen, or takkin onna sooat a poizen we a intenshon to kill iz zen, shall be berrid at fore lane ends, an a stake drivven throo im; for yo no’ne, Sur, at wen’t bill passes, theal be a wooal gang on em el ha to gooa hooam, an its thowt be sum at they’l near be able to survoive it; an, Sur, we think at hah it el beet best way for yo to let em gooa hooam it neet as nobbadda ma see em, an at yo’l be so koind az to provide mooarnin cooaches for em to gooa in, an at there may be a dumb peal rung at ivvera tahne they gooan throo, an’t cooaches stop whoil they sing’t follerin hymn, tain throot Sun newspaper:

Curses booath doir an deep,
Let uz we fervor heap
    On Liberte.
Are burrowmungrin score,
Alas, will nivver more
Triumph the people ore
    England is free.

Satan, to thee we pray,
Hurl patriot kings away,
    Let ’em not stand.
An sin we seek in vain
Are burrows to retain
Let revolution reign
    Oer all’t land.

Sur, weest send fore ratlin chaps hate a Yorksher at el doo yo sum gud – all reformers; an we believe at hah yo’l hav a grate majorratta e favor o’t bill, it nekst meetin, yo’l ha sitch a glorias set a reformers az nevver shode ther faces e that ha’ce afooar; an’t reflection o sitch a victora as yo’n getten el be a evverlastin consolation to yer sen, an it al shed sitch a lustre uppa yer name, as toime itsen, we all its changes an revolutions shall nivver, nivver tarnish. Bless yer sowl, mun, yo’n wun all uz harts at won single stroak, an weer all redda to folla ya, o’ther throo muck or blood, as’t case mut requoire. Nah, please yer Madgesta, afooar o bequoit roitin this letter, ween to beg won thing on yo, and that iz, at iv ivver yo cum to Shevvild, at yo’l cum “uppa are hull arston,” an bring all yer oud razors we ya, an weel mak em shave loik winkin. Sooa no mooar nah throo yer mooast royal and dutiful subjects,

WHEELSWARFS.

Are Hull Arston, Shevvild.

983 words.