Now! Then! 2024! - Yorkshire On This Day

Excerpt

To his wife, who feared he spent too much his faint spirits (for he spoke with hesitancy and pain), he replied, “My conscience is open, and I must speak. Thou hast been a good wife to me, but hast hindered me too much from coming to Leeds to preach: let it be a warning to others, that they dare not to hinder their husbands from preaching. There is no comfort at death like a faithful discharge of duty.”

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To facilitate reading, the spelling and punctuation of elderly excerpts have generally been modernised, and distracting excision scars concealed. My selections, translations, and editions are copyright.

Abbreviations:

• ER: East Riding
• GM: Greater Manchester
• NR: North Riding
• NY: North Yorkshire
• SY: South Yorkshire
• WR: West Riding
• WY: West Yorkshire

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Original

26. Morning, read Annotations. Forenoon, with workmen. At noon, sent for again by Mr. Sharp. I hasted thither with all speed, but he told me he feared I was too late; his strength would scarce permit him to arise. I made particular enquiry concerning the estate at … [the Sharps were somewhat wealthy, and were based at Horton] whether liberty to dispose of it to …, which he answered distinctly to, and called for the writings. But, perceiving there was no time to demur, (as we had done upon Thursday in hopes of recovery and for ditto scruple’s sake) I entered upon the sad employ, put the Will into form, (the first I ever attempted) transcribed it, which he subscribed and declared to be his last Will and Testament, and returned thanks to us by name, for kind assistance and former respects.

When others pressing in, he began a most excellent, affecting, astonishing exhortation, which, in vain, I wished some present to take in writing, but all were too much affected: tears would have rendered the paper incapable of impression. I observed especially, that the graces of faith and humility were predominant. He was noted for this latter, by all that knew him, through the whole course of his life, and it increased to the very last. He was nothing in his own eyes; had the most self-debasing expressions that could proceed from any mortal – a poor creature, sinful worm, vile wretch, self-condemned, that had intruded into the high calling of the ministry, and had no gifts, no graces, no abilities, to discharge so great a trust; loathed himself for it; and if the great God should spurn him out of his presence, he could not but justify him. “Oh, woe, woe, woe is me, that I have sinned! I even tremble to appear before the dreadful tribunal of God, who will come with flaming fire to take vengeance upon those that know not God, and obey not the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. Remember what I preached to you from that text, ‘I have endeavoured to discharge a good conscience,’ though with a multitude, multitude, multitude (thrice repeated) of imperfections, and ‘have not shunned to declare unto you all the counsel of God;'” and then fell into an holy ecstasy of joy, for hopes of salvation through the blessed Mediator. Oh, the infinite riches of free grace! — “And I bless God for the sweet communion I have enjoyed with you in his ordinances, and humbly beseech him to supply the breach that is shortly to be made; and to send you a man of judgment filled with his Spirit, that may better discharge his duty than I have done, who deserve to be made a spectacle of misery to angels and men,” &c.

To his wife, who feared he spent too much his faint spirits (for he spoke with hesitancy and pain), he replied, “My conscience is open, and I must speak. Thou hast been a good wife to me, but hast hindered me too much from coming to Leeds to preach: let it be a warning to others, that they dare not to hinder their husbands from preaching. There is no comfort at death like a faithful discharge of duty;” and calling his daughters, gave excellent advice, to improve time, before we launch into the vast ocean of eternity. Oh, eternity! eternity! eternity! what shallow conceptions have we of it! As to his son (John) who was at Mr. Frankland’s Academy, he prayed that God would incline his heart to the ministry, and desired he might be continued at Mr. Frankland’s, who is an excellent person, and very serviceable to the Church of God. And (when I was hasted down to send for Dr. S.) speaking of good old Mr. [Elkanah?] Wales, he said he was a humble holy man of God, and himself should think it an honour to be buried near his sepulchre. He spoke much and excellently; but what through the extremity of my sorrow, infirmity of my memory, inability to word them in his most apt expressions, I find myself altogether incapable of doing what I both earnestly exhorted others unto, and fully designed to attempt according to my poor ability myself. To which, in my excuse, I may justly add the hurry of the funeral preparations which lay much upon me, with almost a constant attendance upon his disconsolate widow while she abode in town, which both his and her requests laid me under an indispensable obligation to. I sat up a sorrowful mourner all night, endeavouring to support her under so pressing an affliction; through mercy was much affected in prayer, (for which her importunity prevailed) broken for those sins that I have cause to fear have had too great a hand in hastening so dismal a calamity. He was very patient even to admiration under the pangs of death; for all night long, he breathed so faintly and with difficulty, that we despaired of his continuance an hour longer. But he spoke little after seven, when he discoursed about his library, &c. The Polyglot Bible, Pools Synopsis, and English Annotations, with Cambridge and Symson’s Concordance, he particularly mentioned as serviceable to his son. Was so distinct in his memory, that he told me the particular shelf where my dear father’s Manuscript Diary, &c. were laid; except some cases of conscience, which were in his studying desk, which he desired to be carefully returned. When once in the night we expressed fear he should catch cold (for he would needs have had all clean linen about him,) he replied, with a generous disdain, “What fear of cold, when so shortly to be dissolved, and, as a cold lump of clay, deposited in the silent grave?” &c.

But continuing till past five in the morning, we thought he might possibly do so till the time he begun; whereupon I hasted home, hoping for an hour or two’s refreshment to prevent drowsiness. But when I awaked about seven, I found little of it; e contra, surprised with a bitter agony of weeping, to that excess as to prevent the putting on the remainder of my apparel for a considerable time, at which instant he died, (having again called his dear wife and two daughters, and taken a solemn leave of them; and, with great faith and cheerfulness, recommended his precious soul into the hands of his dear Redeemer, which last moments my unworthiness prevented my particular presence at,) for as soon as it was in any measure abated, I hasted up, and met our maid at the Bar with the sad tidings of his decease. O Lord! O Lord! what a bitter and heavy burden is sin, that has deprived us of the choicest mercy under heaven; such a minister of Jesus Christ as very few have equalled in this or former centuries – an irreparable loss. Oh black and dismal day! a darkness like that of the Egyptians, which may even be felt, has overspread us. How have my sins found me out! how bitter are the fruits of them! the whole world is nothing – every thing is a burden to me, I even envy the dead! … Attended Mr. Dawson’s ministry both ends of the day, but I fear with little profit. Was extremely dejected in spirit; had many bitter pangs of grief; and when any friend, as brother, and cousin F. came in the interval to condole, we were dumb with sorrow, not able to express our mutual sorrow and overwhelming passion for some time, further than by the silent but expressive language of tears.

1288 words.

Tags

Tags are assigned inclusively on the basis of an entry’s original text and any comment. You may find this confusing if you only read an entry excerpt.

• Church of England (93) ·
• English Dissenters (4) ·
• 📌Leeds (235) ·
• Mill Hill Chapel (1) ·
• Nonconformism (47) ·
• Protestantism (25) ·
• Thoresby, Ralph (1658-1725) (11), Leeds-born antiquarian and its first historian, non-conformist, merchant, fellow of the Royal Society, diarist, author, common-councilman in the Corporation of Leeds, museum keeper ·
• Will and testament (11) ·

All tags.

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