This *preliminary* version of a very old favourite, ET Mensah’s Tea Samba, is for Mr Paul “Tea” Baker (diabolus.org) and for all of you who have followed and supported this project so far:
Disclaimers:
- Sorry, I couldn’t find a red tie.
- I’m shouting, not because I’m deaf, but because it’s *very* loud. This ditty leaves untouched the 2nd rank of melody bourdons, the counter and the octaves. I’d already been thinking about mobile vocal amplification:
- I know it’s out of tune, but I really wanted to get something out while the neighbours are still away.
Now I have to make a demo and sell it to people like this!
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Still no monkey. Unless it’s the one in the red hat.
Got more important things on her mind, apparently. How are you fixed?
And I thought the guy who worked the bellows was called a ‘follador’.
My God, so he is. So what does that mean in the great scheme of things?
Am great. Just about to send you page or two of great one-liners, unless you want it here . . .
Be my guest – I haven’t banned anyone here (or anywhere) yet, except ca 200,000 Russians, 300,000 Ukrainians, 3 billion Chinese and the entire population of Texas.
So bad they’re good . . . .
The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time….
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70! Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
I was driving this morning when I saw a parked RAC van. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself that guy’s heading for a breakdown.
Paddy says “Mick, I’m thinking of buying a Labrador.”Bugger that” says Mick “have you seen how many of their owners go blind?”
Man calls 999 and says, “I think my wife is dead.” The operator says how do you know? He says, “The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!”
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor – she only had £1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
A wife says to her husband you’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You’re in a wheelchair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said I would like to come back as a cow. I said you’re obviously not listening.
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead, until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby.
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkas saying that they wouldn’t feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexists. I mean, it’s not as if she’d have to reverse the bloody thing!
Local Police hunting the ‘knitting needle nutter’, who has stabbed six people in the arse in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
Bought some ‘rocket salad’ yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!
Murphy says to Paddy, “What ya talkin to an envelope for?” “I’m sending a voicemail ya thick sod!”
Just got back from my mate’s funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.
It was a lovely service.
19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks “Why so many of you?”Mick replies, “The film said 18 or over.”
An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has travelled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat.
Knows more than 3 one-liners, isn’t married, hmm…