Some guys have asked if I want to buy a shooting licence for a village up in the hills. No way. (Also: I’ve got a rough idea what to do with handguns, but I’d wreak havoc with the kind of weapons these folks use, particularly in a dark forest full of men full of brandy.)
When I went back to live in Ingerland a few years ago, it took a month before I felt I knew what was going on in meetings where people used new expressions like “the dog’s bollocks” and “a load of arse”. This time I’m preparing my trip and today I discovered that England spin bowler…
Kamagurka: An orism is an aphorism that. Omelettes are eggs that dream they’re falling. –How’s the digging in your garden going? –Not bad, they’ve just hit New York. Manhattan’s already completely uncovered. –Isn’t it a bit busy having a major city in your garden? –It’s not that bad really. The time difference means that they’re…
I was singing this afternoon somewhere and sang “Haikus in Beirut” instead of “Moonlight in Vermont”, completely by mistake. I was thinking about the time in the middle of the night when we drunkenly tried to hijack a plane to go and kidnap an amateur poet’s true love from her family in the Bekaa Valley…
Missed it. I was into the music before Mr Kusturica started færting around, and it looks a lot more interesting than Glastonbury. Dear Guca, will you invite our gay tea-dance orchestra to play at next year’s festival? (Thankyou, Mr Toenail.)
She’s tabby, about 9 months old and starving up near a spring on Collserola–the drought means there’s very little to eat. From the delicacy of her manners I’d say she is domestic, and my guess is that her owners dumped her when they went on holiday. I can’t take her in, so I’m going to…
New Labour aren’t in the Bible (via Al El), but then neither are the dinosaurs, except in Florida (via Popbitch). (One of Dinosaur Adventure Land’s leading researchers is Dean “Million Volt Man” Ortner.)
“First thing we do is break their noses,” says Ukrainian cop, Igor, over at this Don Weber exhibit (via BB). I think that’s also Algerian police strategy: the Algerians who stalk tourists here tend to have omelette noses, nasty limps, parapet dentistry, you name it, while their Moroccan colleagues are usually more or less unscarred.…