Professor Asshole

This is Stronzo Bestiale, the fictitious Italian physicist, author of numerous peer-reviewed scientific papers. However, stronzo bestiale surely isn’t total asshole – that’s stronzo totale, which I think entered the Italian language via translations of American airport lit – but rather bestial arsehole, or monstrous arsehole, concepts much less sanitised and more evocative of our…

Not fucked translation

The Daily Mail and Tesco and various translation pundits just booked themselves into the nether stretches of the intestines of linguistic hell. From the Mule: I’m not hungry, thanks! Tesco brands Finest spaghetti bolognese ‘the balls of grandad’ Packaging features signs from an Italian market advertising ‘Le Palle de Nonno’ and ‘Coglioni di Mulo’ They…

Donkijote

Can someone work out from this steaming pool of verbal diarrhea if they’re loading the donkey down with GPS recorders etc and then letting it go wherever it wants? Now that would be really interesting. Er, not, actually. [Whatever happened to Deirdre (?) and the donkey and cart with which she made her way from…

Wesley Willis

Has got to be in there somewhere: Lyrics: Suck a polar bear’s funky ass! Suck a racehorse’s cock with Heinz Tomato Ketchup! Suck a donkey’s shitty ass! Suck a male camel’s dick with Hoisin sauce! Suck a cheetah’s dick Suck a cheetah’s dick Suck a cheetah’s dick Suck a cheetah’s dick Suck a European bison’s…