King of Spain

When I went back to live in Ingerland a few years ago, it took a month before I felt I knew what was going on in meetings where people used new expressions like “the dog’s bollocks” and “a load of arse”. This time I’m preparing my trip and today I discovered that England spin bowler…

We are the door

Jesus was the door, but now we all are. (Gizmodo > Tenser, said the Tensor)

The Al-Andalusian truth behind April Fool’s

Most unfortunate that Tony Blair’s moderate Muslims mostly turned out to be cartoon psychos. Here’s another burst of frivolity, available in several locations, which, like Yasser Arafat, I take to be a spoof: Many of us celebrate what is known as April fool or, if it is translated literally, the “trick of April”. But how…

Orism

Kamagurka: An orism is an aphorism that. Omelettes are eggs that dream they’re falling. –How’s the digging in your garden going? –Not bad, they’ve just hit New York. Manhattan’s already completely uncovered. –Isn’t it a bit busy having a major city in your garden? –It’s not that bad really. The time difference means that they’re…

Haikus in Beirut

I was singing this afternoon somewhere and sang “Haikus in Beirut” instead of “Moonlight in Vermont”, completely by mistake. I was thinking about the time in the middle of the night when we drunkenly tried to hijack a plane to go and kidnap an amateur poet’s true love from her family in the Bekaa Valley…

Corsairs’ Christian captives’ covert carousing

José Antonio Martínez Torres, Prisionero de los infieles. Vida y rescate de los cautivos cristianos en el Mediterráneo musulmán (siglos XVI-XVII), says (PDF) that Christians captive in Oran and Algiers could go to the pub and church, as long as they paid.

Gazeta de Lisboa’s report on the 1755 quake

“The first day of this month will be remembered throughout the centuries because of the earthquakes and fires that have destroyed a large part of this city; fortunately, the safes of the royal exchequer, as well as those of many private citizens, have been recovered from the ruins.” (Taken from an article by André Belo…

Guca Serbian band festival

Missed it. I was into the music before Mr Kusturica started færting around, and it looks a lot more interesting than Glastonbury. Dear Guca, will you invite our gay tea-dance orchestra to play at next year’s festival? (Thankyou, Mr Toenail.)

Anyone want a cat?

She’s tabby, about 9 months old and starving up near a spring on Collserola–the drought means there’s very little to eat. From the delicacy of her manners I’d say she is domestic, and my guess is that her owners dumped her when they went on holiday. I can’t take her in, so I’m going to…