Didn’t think that Today would ever cause a tear to fall.
Though Alzheimer’s often eventually brings relief from the horrors of normal human intercourse, “comida acabada, amistad terminada” often also applies. And I think most of us would prefer to be remembered as the shambling wrecks we were pre-dementia.
I am absolutely in favour of drugs, but an alternative which I don’t think has been considered is a dead man’s handle, which generically kicks in when a simple mechanical test establishes that the engineer is incapacitated.
One implementation would be the implantation of a small explosive device in the back of your skull which is triggered when you fail to perform a simple, self-elected task (e.g. reciting the The Wreck of the Hesperus in a minute) on, let us say, three successive days (no hangover can be that bad).
On the other hand, the device could be set to explode a number of years after you note that you are failing.
On that third hand (which you artfully hid up your sleeve), the premium version (“Thai die”) would
- preserve you;
- kill off your money-grubbing sprogs;
- put your assets into a trust which would acquire, manage and, when appropriate, terminate robotic SE Asian
flooziescarers; - when your course is run enable your spirit to escape through your nostrils.
Obviously this would not help the Swiss economy; the nanny state would be vehemently opposed (get a lawyer); and hackers would be a challenge. And I am sure that you will agree on reflection that it is far better to end your days gibbering in a pool of blood and mucous.
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Excellent proposal. Have ordered the device, pre-set.
If I kill you, will you kill me? It’s a desperate business.