London organ-grinder tweets for September 2017

Barrel/street organ stuff.

Napoleon as Harlequin, tumbler, fraudster, monkey (?): Come, come, honest gents, have you ever seen a comedy like that!

Bio: Kazoo Academy & Barrel Organ Disco/Yorkshire Almanac/translator Romance & Germanic languages & Russian/old-style jazz trombone & vocals/brass bands/allotmenteer

Fri Sep 01 07:22 Buckingham Palace attack predictable: Mohiussunnath is anagram of inhuman shouts
Fri Sep 01 07:56 For Hackney refugees, fighting at Lidl & the regular outbreaks of cider-fuelled zoophilia are surely the whole point of Frome
Fri Sep 01 11:32 Beware of trying to help zombie spice victims in Hackney parks - probably just yoga beginners
Fri Sep 01 11:59 Erotic Electric Eels and Pig-Faced Women: Animal Curiosities on the Streets and Stages of London
Fri Sep 01 23:41 Apple juice forbidden in Dutch primary school. Alarmed parent: Water is for dogs.
Sat Sep 02 08:17 Despite best efforts of rider, horse kicked out-of-control dog on Walthamstow Marshes yesterday. Image is Stradanus
Sat Sep 02 10:35 SomersetLive has the strangest headlines: Victim kept orange with her for years to deter serial sex offender with fruit allergy
Sat Sep 02 12:46 Comment: @Transblawg It's the kind of article that's bound to disappoint, after a headline like that, so I didn't read.
Sat Sep 02 13:45 Comment: @Transblawg They do wonders with some quite ordinary material
Sat Sep 02 13:46 Comment: @Transblawg I enjoyed that one ... until the barista triumphed.
Sun Sep 03 10:42 To small girl: "See the spider with the massive bum? Imagine all the spinning he's going to do!" Small girl: "Are you going spinning too?"
Sun Sep 03 16:30 Shocking how few casualties die/desert in 4 hr wait in A&E. Fave: raving lady & panting gent, staff: But which one of you is the patient?
Sun Sep 03 18:40 Comment: @tombcn Yes thanks: played football against 4 yo girl, lost!
Mon Sep 04 07:49 Main reason for Spanish universities' decline in Shaghai rankings: inability to spell Shanghai
Mon Sep 04 07:50 Comment: @tombcn Yep, always wanted a go on a crutch. Hope all's well in Freedonia.
Mon Sep 04 08:32 Comment: @alexkbcn I mean, you couldn't make it up.
Mon Sep 04 18:11 Tough on rhyme, tough on the causes of rhyme
Mon Sep 04 20:03 If Hackney Council hadn't stopped Mole Man, we'd all be able to shelter from Kim Jong-un #WhereAreYouHiding
Tue Sep 05 07:28 Village Sue: Ba$tards cut down me sycamore cos poisoning facking ponies. Son Stevie: Now she gathers syc leaves & throws em over the fence
Tue Sep 05 18:12 Privacy: I've got nothing to hide, but they don't need to know that. Dutch Big Brother law referendum petition:
Wed Sep 06 07:34 Borrow book from public library: show photo membership ID, register. Borrow crutches from NHS: allege name & address, no register. WTF?
Thu Sep 07 06:17 Hadn't seen how this ended
Thu Sep 07 06:26 1st Burmese backgrounder that makes sense to me
Thu Sep 07 11:20 "Come on, dissensus, you can do better than that." "No I facking can't."
Thu Sep 07 14:50 BreakingFrum: What would happen to you if a Korean missile hit RNAS Yeovilton in Somerset?
Thu Sep 07 21:57 Delighted with new-old book of German dwarf poetry. Far superior to modern take
Sun Sep 10 17:21 House in the shape of a Viking helmet near Hungary's Slovenian border
Sun Sep 10 19:50 Apparently my habit of saying asparagus to everything is almost as advanced as 2 year old saying asparagus to bad stuff & traintrack to good
Mon Sep 11 07:27 storm surge
Tue Sep 12 07:59 RT @LowEbbs: Nice to see they've got their priorities right
Tue Sep 12 09:34 Pregnant women can drink more, Chief Medical Officer should smoke less, says new study
Tue Sep 12 15:01 Blog: The French penchant for inventing things already in existence elsewhere: Séraphin and his ombres chinoises
Wed Sep 13 11:03 Comment: @Transblawg You don't think it will sell (ads)? Would the Germans ban a Murdoch title there?
Wed Sep 13 20:32 El Carmelo, Barcelona: "Buenas tardes, caballero." "Gracias, aunque no veo caballo." #LosViejosSonLosMejores
Wed Sep 13 20:52 Comment: No fue el momento de preguntar si, sin coño, me consideraba mujer
Thu Sep 14 08:59 Sussex Downs, 8/9, relaxing in a late summer 40 km/h hailstorm
Thu Sep 14 09:57 Current state of Russian transliteration. Yup.
Thu Sep 14 21:57 An apostate has introduced me to an interesting new sect: Salamism encourages the consumption of spicy pork sausages
Thu Sep 14 22:02 Ivan the Terrible demanded the hand of the sister of the Polish king, who instead sent him a horse dressed as a woman. Good idea at the time
Fri Sep 15 11:57 Comment: @steve_guy You know you want to
Fri Sep 15 12:39 RT @dehparadox: Lo que me quedaba por ver en el fútbol: 20.000 alemanes, en un estadio inglés, cantando 'El Porompompero' de Manolo Escobar…
Fri Sep 15 16:52 Cruise boat hooters (4th) sounding like Ivor Cutler's harmonium - expecting monstrous Scotsman in funny hat to emerge from behind cloud
Fri Sep 15 16:53 Comment: @Transblawg Can't write, can read?
Fri Sep 15 19:46 Comment: @Transblawg Oh dear. It's like going to a pub and having to show the barman how to pour beer. Who will post the postmen.
Fri Sep 15 21:44 Katinka was the village belle: piano roll+ukelele+karaoke! (Famous dirty song re girl's bush fascination.)
Sun Sep 17 08:44 Comment: @jonno50 Ah! but on the pianoforte?!
Sun Sep 17 09:27 To be fair, the Stamford Hill boys have never asked me to repeat a number.
Sun Sep 17 09:46 Comment: It's not my photography, it's my soul you're taking.
Sun Sep 17 19:29 Spanish grapes cost more in Spain than in England. Fortunately the same is not true of their main product
Mon Sep 18 07:42 Enough of all this intra-species politicking: the first thing we do, let's kill all the mosquitoes
Mon Sep 18 12:42 "I don't care about cookies" Chrome extension -> webhp redirects: not good...
Mon Sep 18 13:48 Comment: @Transblawg @lynneguist Newts eat worms, which impacts on fish catches and thus on Neot.
Mon Sep 18 19:13 But will I be allowed to drink them at home? Taste-Off: Interesting Eastern European Corner Shop Beers
Mon Sep 18 21:42 Russian modesty: The appearance of the seven-string guitar resembles a supernova explosion.
Mon Sep 18 23:05 It is said that Mikhail Vysotsky, early 19th century guitarist, died in ravine going TO favourite tavern. Family insists he was going home.
Tue Sep 19 00:04 All the Beach Boys needed was a balalaika
Tue Sep 19 07:39 Dilemma: Small transparent lizard has moved in. Should I stop squirting repellent at the mosquitoes?
Tue Sep 19 19:24 CaixaForum: Thought I'd find de Chirico amusing, Warhol wanky, but the opposite. Sucker for commercial illustration.
Tue Sep 19 19:59 Men, it's OK to put cucumber on your face at bedtime. Exclusive source says it's part of Mr. Colombia's routine. Just stay off the mondongo
Tue Sep 19 22:16 The new Pevsner, but is he bald too?
Wed Sep 20 16:25 Revolución Catalana: ¡a quemar grallas!
Wed Sep 20 22:17 Apparently in Sweden earthquakes are not a problem because the geology is exceptionally well organised
Thu Sep 21 08:48 But does Anchor & Hope (film) actually have the A&H (pub) in it?
Thu Sep 21 09:44 #RevoluciónCatalana #NoALasGuitarras Y de John fooking Lennon Imagine, ni pensar
Thu Sep 21 10:19 RT @bbcthree: Liam Gallagher making tea is the best thing you'll see today. As you were.
Thu Sep 21 10:22 My favourite gallery, the Mauritshuis, high res public domain
Fri Sep 22 08:19 Shocking hate crime witnessed Fleet Street, London: drunks staggering out of El Vino, singing Y Viva España thru Catalan embassy's interfone
Sat Sep 23 06:10 Pensive, Bow. Elderly Trinidadian: "Can I help you sir? You appear lost." In the Gothic style: "I am looking for … happiness." "WAHAHAHA!"
Sat Sep 23 06:10 Comment: One not to be forgotten.
Sat Sep 23 07:31 C18th Russian Newton poem: you (skull mouldering in Westminster Abbey) knew everything but yourself
Sat Sep 23 12:28 Comment: @Transblawg I thought Ms Pollock had left.
Sat Sep 23 12:29 Comment: @Transblawg Cobranding with Aldi
Sat Sep 23 15:27 Indonesian (Malang?) carnival baby costumes
Sat Sep 23 15:42 Napoleon as Harlequin, tumbler, fraudster, monkey (?): Come, come, honest gents, have you ever seen a comedy like that!
Sat Sep 23 15:43 Comment: No barrel-organ, though
Sun Sep 24 05:56 #WalthamstowMarsh: iPhone found, returned to baby-owner. "But you need one!" "Too complicated: gimme cargo cult wood with painted icons."
Sun Sep 24 15:47 Ah, a Soviet book that starts on page 45! You'd think if they were going to cut out half of it they could have typexed the page numbers
Mon Sep 25 12:41 Any reason you shouldn't use house bricks instead of pizza stone?
Mon Sep 25 12:51 Comment: @Transblawg Given Kingston traditions I expected at least a gunfight.
Mon Sep 25 13:53 St. Cyril of Beloozero: Lord, the peasants are drinking and people are dying.
Mon Sep 25 20:30 House bricks instead of pizza stone produced best pizza base ever, credit to @ibstockbrick
Mon Sep 25 20:30 Comment: @WateryTom @RLong_Bailey And barrel organs. And monkeys. Non?
Tue Sep 26 20:18 Psychobabble heard in Tesco: If he's always talking about his problems and thinks you haven't got any, you're his audience, not his friend.
Wed Sep 27 08:14 Sorli Discau: mucho más que una broma ortográfica
Wed Sep 27 14:06 Russia anticipates organ-grinders making up shortfall in orchestral violin sections
Wed Sep 27 19:17 Catalan UDI referendum only looking good for Uzbek arms dealers, but Shakespeare twirling happily in grave re bit part played by Mr Ruffian
Thu Sep 28 08:33 The minerals and manufacturing are no more, but Midlanders still use more cutlery at breakfast than normal folk
Thu Sep 28 11:26 Victims v mixed: tumbleweave blowing there the other day
Thu Sep 28 12:56 I like the suicide bomber clauses in company car contracts - use of car for transport of explosive substances prohibited
Fri Sep 29 06:11 psychogeography vs hipster retail: incomprehensible in pursuit of unspeakable?
Fri Sep 29 12:12 Blog: Napoleon II’s Pulcinella toy & the Empire’s collapse
Sat Sep 30 09:36 Christmas is coming, and the carrion crows on Hackney Marsh are eating the Xtratherm wall insulation on the new pavilion site
Sat Sep 30 12:07 A previous wind bubble