The stuff of miracle

I just hope there’s a baker next door: Pastor Don Schafer believes a church should be “a laboratory and not a museum.” The Lutheran Church of Our Savior, behind Big Fish Grill in Rehoboth Beach has opened its door to many parts of the community under his leadership and now it’s breaking down language barriers.

ramos, a telegraph reader?!

La Vanguardia’s incompetent in London, Rafael Ramos, used to file stories that – apart from his appalling spelling – bore remarkable resemblances to articles in The Guardian and The Times. When I caught him out the paper refused to take an interest and he started using The Times more, presumably secure in the knowledge that…

Ghit (ii)

I am having 1,500 cards printed with “ghit = google hit © 2004 followthebaldie.com” and am going to flog them down the Ramblas this lunchtime. I am unsure as to whether this constitutes a business plan.

Say it like Beckham

David Beckham and Andalusian chanteur David Bisbal are the public figures most admired by Madrilenian schoolchildren aged 6-12, according to a new survey. While the missus is admired elsewhere for the form, if not the functioning, of her aural receptors, I suspect that Becks the voice artist may eventually revolutionise English teaching in Spain. Says…

best liver

Extremely tasteless. Anyone seen Napoleon recently? Via BoingBoing.

I’m a primadonna

How I used to chant UB40’s Ivory Madonna when I was small, drunk and confused. Other well-known versions of this include “I’ve a green banana,” but no one gets misunderstood like Michael Jackson. This, from Misheard Lyrics, is not an excerpt from Beat It: Heated, heated. No one wants a beef fajita. Show ’em hot…

packaging

Either condoms have suddenly become hideously expensive or there’s a missing link when The Guardian says that “British teenagers are better off … than ever before” while the BBC says they’re using crisp packets because they can’t afford the real thing. The solution is obvious – sell crisps wrapped in condoms – and the title…

To rent

The agent just can’t figure out why he’s had this place on the market for months. The neighbours believe that it may have something to do with the fact that sometimes lumps of concrete fall on you as you walk past. Meanwhile, back in Britain, Hanging baskets are to be banned on lampposts in a…

Holdups

“It is unfortunate it happened but it could have happened to them anywhere,” said the Spanish Tourist Office of a roadside attack here on a family from Devon by a Latino gang. Er, probably not in Devon.