Unfortunately I can’t see Barcelona’s notoriously tubby and boozed-up municipal police following Rio’s lead and pouring themselves into swimming trunks in order to combat the Maghrebis who stalk and rob tourists on the beaches here, so I’m afraid we’re going to have to think of something else. It might be interesting to issue all new arrivals at the airport with duck whistles and other bird call devices with instructions to use them on sighting gentlemen unsure of the distinction between mine and thine. This would greatly diversify beach soundscapes but might also lead to unfortunate incidents involving visually handicapped hunters.

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