If FIFA were a bank

And what to do with the Moscow and Qatar events and with Sepp.

Here. The Moscow World Cup should now be cancelled, so we can do something worthy of the highest of primates. Qatar should go to Yorkshire, so that, in reference to that county’s taste in garden decoration, the whole world can sing, “Football is coming, gnome.” Blatter & Co should be set to building, by hand, a Valle de los Caídos-style memorial to the collateral exploited and dead arising from their desert pension fund scheme.

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