Tweets for February 2023


Bio: Kazoo Academy & Barrel Organ Disco/Yorkshire Almanac/translator Romance & Germanic languages & Russian/old-style jazz trombone & vocals/brass bands/allotmenteer

  • Wed Feb 01 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 1 February 2023: Then: 1829: Jonathan Martin's attempt to burn down York Minster is frustrated by a frolicsome chorister. 1893: Alderman Herbert Bramley can't see why Sheffield, on the 50th anniversary of its municipal charter, should…
  • Wed Feb 01 12:48 Epic levelling-up from East London - I already sense an end to the current outbreak of lung disease. Now, can Leeds have a bit of your ULEZ?
  • Wed Feb 01 14:23 Comment: @petersymon oh dear oh dear, not going to like that one
  • Wed Feb 01 23:29 Laundry detergent bottle designed by HR at Fairy/Procter & Gamble, e.g. 1) no inner lip on the measuring cap inside the outer cap, so either wash it each time or accept big spillage, 2) asterisk references on the dosage chart because a silly slogan trumps information design

  • Thu Feb 02 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 2 February 2023: Then: 1609: A crowd-pleasing morality play at Candlemas at Gouthwaite Hall in Catholic Nidderdale lands the cordwainer-players and their patron before the Star Chamber. 1806: A sinner pleads for mercy during a…
  • Thu Feb 02 09:17 Comment: @Transblawg Oh dear, that'll never resell in Nigeria. Is bulldog Andy buying a scooter?
  • Thu Feb 02 19:09 The infant totally loves @NewtechUK 's cheese/sandwich/traybake/etc precision cutting product videos: dancing diggers plus interesting food plus cheesy (obvs) dance music
  • Fri Feb 03 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 3 February 2023: Then: 1825: Bradford celebrates its last great festival of Bishop Blaize, the wool-combers' patron - his flesh torn off with the iron combs invented by himself. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 9°C…
  • Fri Feb 03 20:31 The infant has known for some time that I tell her there's a spider on the wall in order to steal her food, but now she tells me there's a spider etc on the wall in order to eat food allegedly hateful to her
  • Sat Feb 04 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 4 February 2023: Then: 0211: Having survived the Scots, Roman emperor Septimius Severus dies at York, possibly murdered by his son and fellow-emperor Caracalla. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 8°C (47°F), wind south…
  • Sat Feb 04 21:36 Infant received a great lecture from boxing trainer Colin yesterday on being kind to one's parents, but caught me with a cheeky stomach punch this afty
  • Sun Feb 05 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 5 February 2023: Then: 1643: Rioting locals reïnundate Hatfield Chase in protest at flooding and the loss of fishing and fowling caused by Cornelius Vermuyden's land reclamation scheme. 1649: The Puritan John Sharp of Bradford, on…
  • Sun Feb 05 20:04 Classic sprog bait-&-switch: - Can we go to that pub? I want to see the football. She leads us into a ring of cross drunk men: Leeds are losing to Forest on screens on every wall. To the barmaid: - Please can you put on Peppa Pig? Haven't seen pubs promoting Disney+
  • Sun Feb 05 23:20 An anarchist calling for the demolition of Yorkshire's dry-stone walls, without which the Land Enclosure Acts would have been unenforceable
  • Mon Feb 06 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 6 February 2023: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 3°C (37°F), wind westerly 6mph, visibility good, pressure 1036mb, humidity 90%, UV risk 0/11, pollution low…
  • Mon Feb 06 10:13 The drive-in Thong Garden of Earthly Delights dotting carbon footprint boasts amidst its Chinese-manufactured driftwood & pots for your concrete garden
  • Tue Feb 07 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 7 February 2023: Then: 1685: Yorkshire notables meet to await the death of Charles II, and to plan to prevent anti-papists and other dissidents from disrupting the accession of James II. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud,…
  • Tue Feb 07 19:55 Comment: @ual_note Welcome!
  • Tue Feb 07 21:58 Like father, like son

  • Wed Feb 08 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 8 February 2023: Then: 1745: The pioneering but pennyless philologist Eugene Aram murders a wealthy Knaresborough wastrel. Now: Weather for tonight: mist, temperature 0°C (33°F), wind southerly 6mph, visibility poor, pressure 1035mb,…
  • Wed Feb 08 10:05 Oranges ripen in winter, not summer - the smell of the processing plants is what makes the Valencian countryside so pleasant in January @tateandlyleplc
  • Wed Feb 08 22:45 The 4-yo George Melly attended a liberal elite school in 1930s Liverpool - Miss Katie Yates' Camelot - where in kindergarten he was supervised by Miss Kitty Coope. Plus ça change in certain respects:

  • Thu Feb 09 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 9 February 2023: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: clear sky, temperature 1°C (34°F), wind westerly 8mph, visibility good, pressure 1027mb, humidity 88%, UV risk 0/11, pollution low…
  • Thu Feb 09 08:36 Yeah, but trendy judges?
  • Thu Feb 09 12:19 Using Royal Mail's online click&drop service (IT failure means you can no longer send international parcels via post offices) one gets the impression they'd rather not be in the parcels business at all
  • Thu Feb 09 20:41 Threw a load of back-pocket orange peel + house keys into a locked bin next to the heron pond. Garbage archaeology findings: 1) keys sink, 2) students live on pizza, bananas & takeaway coffee, & 3) no Tiktok sightings so far
  • Fri Feb 10 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 10 February 2023: Then: 1821: The view at Foston (Ryedale). Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 3°C (38°F), wind south westerly 10mph, visibility good, pressure 1033mb, humidity 89%, UV risk 0/11, pollution low…
  • Fri Feb 10 11:42 These look familiar
  • Sat Feb 11 08:11 Comment: @SjaneP Haven't had a chance to go down there, but I'm 99% sure the current Ellars / Ellers complex on the Bradford Road at Kirkstall shares its site but little or nothing else with the house shown by Turner. It's a late-19th century rebuild
  • Sat Feb 11 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 11 February 2023: Then: 1674: A successful national fast. Now: Weather for tonight: clear sky, temperature 6°C (43°F), wind westerly 12mph, visibility good, pressure 1032mb, humidity 87%, UV risk 0/11, pollution low (mid-Yorkshire)Sun:…
  • Sat Feb 11 08:25 @orionbooks Hi, have you got contact details for whoever at W&N is responsible for reproduction permissions? Ta!
  • Sat Feb 11 23:46 Infant currently into the full range of Disney's Silly Symphonies, particularly Skeleton Dance (1929), but also the delicious whimsy of Water Babies (1935)
  • Sun Feb 12 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 12 February 2023: Then: 1677: Oliver Heywood can't decide whether to cross the Pennines to Lancashire on a snowy day. Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 3°C (37°F), wind south westerly 5mph, visibility good, pressure…
  • Sun Feb 12 20:21 Comment: So who wrote the title song of Disney's Silly Symphony Water Babies, where's the vocal version etc etc? J.B. Kaufman's piece is the closest I've got
  • Mon Feb 13 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 13 February 2023: Then: 1669: Oliver Heywood's sons set off weeping from Northowram to Heath Grammar School, Halifax, having failed to learn their Latin. 1796: Marshall and the Benyons' linen factory at Leeds burns down with the loss…
  • Mon Feb 13 09:40 Why isn't there a cartoon of Johnson as a Russian spy balloon?
  • Mon Feb 13 09:51 In the municipal status inflation contest of 1893 I love Sheffield Liberal councillor Herbert Bramley's attitude
  • Mon Feb 13 09:55 Given the pleasure derived by the infant, after initial nerves, from the ceremonial conflagration of the Christmas tree (whoosh!), I can't understand why the Guy Fawkes & New Year's fireworks can't be channelled into a somewhat more ecologically sound infernal arboreal Epiphany
  • Mon Feb 13 11:10 NHS budget £150bn, but still incapable of the not hugely challenging system integration required to show patients logging into their GP health record a dashboard with their latest vital sign test results
  • Mon Feb 13 20:02 GP manages to get a stethoscope on the infant after 3 months of respiratories & comes up looking alarmed: "Her lungs don't sound good, & I'm worried she may have emphysema." Too late I notice that the retired miner effect is caused by her breathing through a kazoo.
  • Mon Feb 13 20:34 Pakistani guy dishing it out to young Horn of Africa(?) Deliveroo rider on Wood Lane, Headingley: "I'm not going to dob you in this time, but you know blah." I guess a degree of renting of Deliveroo IDs to the undocumented is required to sustain the govt's Home Obesity Programme
  • Tue Feb 14 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 14 February 2023: Then: 1400: Richard II possibly dies a prisoner in Pontefract Castle, but probably not as described by Shakespeare. 1779: James Cook of Marton-in-Cleveland is killed while trying to recover a boat from the Hawaiians.…
  • Tue Feb 14 20:09 One (1) toilet. Outside: an infant bursting for a wee. Inside: some poor man with dementia and diarrhoea.
  • Tue Feb 14 21:06 Crimes against prosody - I guess the translation (from Chinese?) & voicing are crap AI
  • Tue Feb 14 21:06 Comment: But enjoying the design of printed Chinese romantic fiction - quite a lot at Leeds central library
  • Wed Feb 15 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 15 February 2023: Then: 1647: 'A stranger and pilgrim in the world,' Adam Eyre of Thurleston determines in his will where and how he is to be buried. Now: Weather for tonight: clear sky, temperature 1°C (34°F), wind south easterly…
  • Wed Feb 15 19:50 Comment: @DanielGalef That's a beautiful word I didn't know. An old work lament:
  • Wed Feb 15 19:51 Comment: @Transblawg I don't think anyone in the PO queue filmed me
  • Wed Feb 15 19:57 The infant thinks the funniest gag ever is about the hospital where radiology is run by a gorilla, who gives patients photos of bananas
  • Wed Feb 15 20:11 Comment: @GroomB @aflashbak Sheikh Mujibur Rahman in a front garden on Sidney Street, London E1 - but the story is duller
  • Wed Feb 15 20:17 Frumptarn GuggenBand (Barnsley)
  • Wed Feb 15 20:18 Comment: More Guggenmusik: Horburgschlurbi (Basel)
  • Wed Feb 15 20:56 Stanley forever
  • Wed Feb 15 20:59 Comment: Looks like Stanley coming round the corner by the cashpoint
  • Thu Feb 16 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 16 February 2023: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: light rain, temperature 5°C (41°F), wind southerly 7mph, visibility good, pressure 1017mb, humidity 89%, UV risk 0/11, pollution low…
  • Thu Feb 16 20:08 If for some reason they're fans of the nominative plural, then why not alumnae?
  • Thu Feb 16 20:11 V touching - 4 months after a party, a small Chinese girl is still addicted to the fairy story & is gradually learning all the songs, particularly Spoonful of Sugar & Bare Necessities
  • Thu Feb 16 20:44 Comment: @Transblawg I and Justin have never been seen together
  • Thu Feb 16 23:32 The toilets in the playground at Portswood Primary (allegedly built by German POWs) were terrifying but at least they were inside, unlike those at Bassett Green
  • Fri Feb 17 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 17 February 2023: Then: 1801: Recent international arrivals and departures at the port of Hull. 1995: Symbols of community decline in Leeds. Now: Weather for tonight: drizzle, temperature 12°C (53°F), wind south westerly 22mph,…
  • Fri Feb 17 10:45 Every winter the same question: why isn't rhubarb sold in the rhubarb triangle triangular?
  • Fri Feb 17 10:51 Do the car-less always trump the meat-less?
  • Fri Feb 17 11:37 Someone says that in this year's local art exhibition men in skirts have elbowed out women. "Maybe there's some clever justification, but the Curry & Chips film looks like a rich boy putting on a dress to demonstrate the stupidity of poor women - Les Dawson without the jokes."
  • Sat Feb 18 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 18 February 2023: Then: 1889: An effigy of Jack Nelson, wife-beater, is paraded with rough music through Hedon (Holderness) by a furious crowd. Now: Weather for tonight: light rain, temperature 9°C (48°F), wind south westerly 23mph,…
  • Sun Feb 19 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 19 February 2023: Then: 1857: William Maddison goes into a burning Lundhill Colliery, Barnsley to look for survivors of the firedamp explosion that killed 189 of the 200 men and boys underground. 1866: The Diana, Hull's first…
  • Mon Feb 20 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 20 February 2023: Then: 1975: Alan Bennett on Leeds, 'motorway city of the seventies'. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 11°C (52°F), wind westerly 23mph, visibility good, pressure 1018mb, humidity 80%, UV risk 0/11,…
  • Mon Feb 20 10:05 .@bbccleeds wants parents to try harder to cram 25 prams into a shed the size of 1 SUV space. Design 15 years old (original omitted shed altogether!), so some wonder if time for a sustainable rethink - pedestrian gathering space replacing parking along the façade, shed for 40...?

  • Mon Feb 20 11:12 Note to crime scene investigators should I perish brutally near the Roger Stevens building: walking back from @KirkgateMarket of a morning with some more excellent fish from the Bethells, I have noticed the heron eyeing me up
  • Tue Feb 21 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 21 February 2023: Then: 1688: York apprentices cock-throwing on Shrove Tuesday break a (Catholic) window, the militia steps in, and torture ensues. 1718: Elizabeth Hodgson and William Reeston are excommunicated in St. Augustine's,…
  • Tue Feb 21 20:47 A bit of having one's cake & eating it: there may be a speed cam, but the council may not bother to maintain it - two on Headingley Lane taped over at least since April 2021
  • Tue Feb 21 20:54 A reminder today that getting people out of cars and onto their feet isn't just about making driving unattractive & clearing all the cars/bins/etc off pavements: A commutes Moortown-Headingley on foot but uses the car in winter for fear of being mugged
  • Wed Feb 22 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 22 February 2023: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: light rain, temperature 7°C (44°F), wind southerly 9mph, visibility good, pressure 1009mb, humidity 88%, UV risk 0/11, pollution low…
  • Wed Feb 22 10:26 The question of whether the UK should be renamed New Albania because of (1 - Remainers) food shortages - Enver Hoxha: Eat grass rather than cooperate with capitalism; or (2 - Brexiters & the Guardian) domination of the underworld by Shqiptare clans
  • Wed Feb 22 10:28 Comment: Image from Michael Harrison's collection
  • Wed Feb 22 19:16 Kingfisher this morning whipping up Meanwood Beck under the foot bridge ca 200m south of Grove Lane Stables - recognisable from its low straight flight as much as from its feathers
  • Wed Feb 22 19:21 Staff nerves at a Prime (what is it?) stampede by City Academy kids at Headingley Sainsbury this afty. I expected a Hackney-style clear-the-shelves-&-run, but most accepted rationing. Tomatoes long gone
  • Thu Feb 23 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 23 February 2023: Then: 1832: An innkeeper's son rides a runaway Galloway across the River Foss at York. 1863: The Rev. Samuel Gray of Cundall tries to make school interesting for a nervous William Allison (12). Now: Weather for…
  • Thu Feb 23 11:19 The infant can have orange in her lunch box when she's learned the conventional pronunciation of pith
  • Thu Feb 23 16:11 Comment: south -> downstream
  • Thu Feb 23 20:55 Little B was a bit upset at lunchtime, cue live highlights from Kurt Schwitters' Ursonate - better than warm milk & gin for toddlers
  • Fri Feb 24 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 24 February 2023: Then: 1673: Oliver Heywood regrets impulsively baptizing the child of an irresponsible Quaker father. 1777: Penniless Tom Fashion of London calls on redneck Yorkshire moneybags Sir Tunbelly Clumsy, during tonight's…
  • Fri Feb 24 17:40 We've abandoned the plan to keep a flock of sheep & goats on Headingley Hill & are going to eat the grass ourselves
  • Sat Feb 25 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 25 February 2023: Then: 1879: The scene outside Armley Gaol, Leeds, at the execution of Charles Peace, steelworker, violinist, picture-framer, burglar, stalker, murderer. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 3°C (37°F),…
  • Sat Feb 25 16:38 Midsummer mead project
  • Sun Feb 26 07:41 The real puzzle about the guys in a flatbed who stole the bikes from a block on North Grange Mount before Christmas is why they bothered to wear balaclavas while on the property or take them off on leaving
  • Sun Feb 26 07:53 Amazon suspects that Vikings:Northumbria::Spanish:West Indies
  • Sun Feb 26 08:07 RT @Rainmaker1973: At what age are people being described as being old, as a function of the age of who describes? It's the square-root of…
  • Sun Feb 26 08:08 Comment: My code used to think that Amazon would have Alcuin, no more
  • Sun Feb 26 08:11 Comment: @BBCLookNorth J swears by Spoons - 99p coffee with free refills
  • Sun Feb 26 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 26 February 2023: Then: 1787: William Butterworth of Leeds arrives at Grenada from Calabar on the Hudibras (Liverpool) with the survivors of a cargo of 360 slaves. Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 3°C (37°F), wind…
  • Sun Feb 26 08:35 Comment: @Durotrigesdig Simon Jones (1805-73), Llanuwchllyn #StandingStoneSunday
  • Sun Feb 26 19:01 Left London too soon to take the toddler to see this at the British Library
  • Sun Feb 26 20:02 Comment: @TomTheProducer1 @LeedsTours For a while I walked along roads to an office near Philly, but colleagues would stop and ask if I was OK, so I ended up going across fields
  • Sun Feb 26 20:55 Unmetered water, but this is still a bit big for the bath
  • Mon Feb 27 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 27 February 2023: Then: 1390: On bended knee before an audience of York dignitaries, a weeping Richard Ellerbeck begs Ralph del See to forgive the death of his father. 1717: Julia Calverley of Esholt Hall completes ten panels of…
  • Mon Feb 27 09:05 Comment: @tombcn The number is not in fact random but was selected on the basis of careful calculation: 1m/day is comprehensible to most people
  • Mon Feb 27 09:58 The rooster party was good, so now looking at dragons, specifically the Dragon of Wantley, who dies when kicked up his arse-gut
  • Mon Feb 27 10:03 Comment: "Arse" should always rhyme with "Mars"
  • Tue Feb 28 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 28 February 2023: Then: 1863: William Allison (11) goes mouse-hunting at Cundall with his fellow-pupil. Now: Weather for tonight: drizzle, temperature 4°C (39°F), wind northerly 8mph, visibility good, pressure 1035mb, humidity 93%, UV…
  • Tue Feb 28 11:45 - You're not going to touch the plum tree, are you? We took 35 kilos off that last summer. He gives me a sinister look: - I'm barking, barking mad. He is indeed just laying weed-suppressing bark chip on the surrounding beds.
  • Tue Feb 28 11:47 Did a few rhymes from the Raymond Briggs Fee Fi Fo Fum collection before realizing just how sinister they sound away from home - contemporary taste so anodyne and purportedly hate-averse
  • Tue Feb 28 12:04 Simple as pie - not
  • Tue Feb 28 14:01 Dreams of a mansion in Roundhay vanished when I realized I'm getting the same nominal for kazoo gigs as when I stopped practising 20 years ago
  • Tue Feb 28 18:39 Psst, anyone got Mercurius Diutinus, January 6-13 1647?
  • Tue Feb 28 19:46 Comment: (That's issue 7)

Bizarrely, Twitter data downloads don't include others' comments on your tweets, or tweets on which you comment, e.g.:

/ I say something
// Someone replies
/// I reply to them
... and so it's impossible to show tweet trees involving third parties correctly.

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