Tweets for February 2023

Bio: Kazoo Academy & Barrel Organ Disco/Yorkshire Almanac/translator Romance & Germanic languages & Russian/old-style jazz trombone & vocals/brass bands/allotmenteer

Wed Feb 01 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 1 February 2023: Then: 1829: Jonathan Martin's attempt to burn down York Minster is frustrated by a frolicsome chorister. 1893: Alderman Herbert Bramley can't see why Sheffield, on the 50th anniversary of its municipal charter, should…
Wed Feb 01 12:48 Epic levelling-up from East London - I already sense an end to the current outbreak of lung disease. Now, can Leeds have a bit of your ULEZ?
Wed Feb 01 14:23 Comment: @petersymon oh dear oh dear, not going to like that one
Wed Feb 01 23:29 Laundry detergent bottle designed by HR at Fairy/Procter & Gamble, e.g. 1) no inner lip on the measuring cap inside the outer cap, so either wash it each time or accept big spillage, 2) asterisk references on the dosage chart because a silly slogan trumps information design
Thu Feb 02 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 2 February 2023: Then: 1609: A crowd-pleasing morality play at Candlemas at Gouthwaite Hall in Catholic Nidderdale lands the cordwainer-players and their patron before the Star Chamber. 1806: A sinner pleads for mercy during a…
Thu Feb 02 09:17 Comment: @Transblawg Oh dear, that'll never resell in Nigeria. Is bulldog Andy buying a scooter?
Thu Feb 02 19:09 The infant totally loves @NewtechUK 's cheese/sandwich/traybake/etc precision cutting product videos: dancing diggers plus interesting food plus cheesy (obvs) dance music
Fri Feb 03 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 3 February 2023: Then: 1825: Bradford celebrates its last great festival of Bishop Blaize, the wool-combers' patron - his flesh torn off with the iron combs invented by himself. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 9°C…
Fri Feb 03 20:31 The infant has known for some time that I tell her there's a spider on the wall in order to steal her food, but now she tells me there's a spider etc on the wall in order to eat food allegedly hateful to her
Sat Feb 04 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 4 February 2023: Then: 0211: Having survived the Scots, Roman emperor Septimius Severus dies at York, possibly murdered by his son and fellow-emperor Caracalla. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 8°C (47°F), wind south…
Sat Feb 04 21:36 Infant received a great lecture from boxing trainer Colin yesterday on being kind to one's parents, but caught me with a cheeky stomach punch this afty
Sun Feb 05 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 5 February 2023: Then: 1643: Rioting locals reïnundate Hatfield Chase in protest at flooding and the loss of fishing and fowling caused by Cornelius Vermuyden's land reclamation scheme. 1649: The Puritan John Sharp of Bradford, on…
Sun Feb 05 20:04 Classic sprog bait-&-switch: - Can we go to that pub? I want to see the football. She leads us into a ring of cross drunk men: Leeds are losing to Forest on screens on every wall. To the barmaid: - Please can you put on Peppa Pig? Haven't seen pubs promoting Disney+
Sun Feb 05 23:20 An anarchist calling for the demolition of Yorkshire's dry-stone walls, without which the Land Enclosure Acts would have been unenforceable
Mon Feb 06 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 6 February 2023: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 3°C (37°F), wind westerly 6mph, visibility good, pressure 1036mb, humidity 90%, UV risk 0/11, pollution low…
Mon Feb 06 10:13 The drive-in Thong Garden of Earthly Delights dotting carbon footprint boasts amidst its Chinese-manufactured driftwood & pots for your concrete garden
Tue Feb 07 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 7 February 2023: Then: 1685: Yorkshire notables meet to await the death of Charles II, and to plan to prevent anti-papists and other dissidents from disrupting the accession of James II. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud,…
Tue Feb 07 19:55 Comment: @ual_note Welcome!
Tue Feb 07 21:58 Like father, like son
Wed Feb 08 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 8 February 2023: Then: 1745: The pioneering but pennyless philologist Eugene Aram murders a wealthy Knaresborough wastrel. Now: Weather for tonight: mist, temperature 0°C (33°F), wind southerly 6mph, visibility poor, pressure 1035mb,…
Wed Feb 08 10:05 Oranges ripen in winter, not summer - the smell of the processing plants is what makes the Valencian countryside so pleasant in January @tateandlyleplc
Wed Feb 08 22:45 The 4-yo George Melly attended a liberal elite school in 1930s Liverpool - Miss Katie Yates' Camelot - where in kindergarten he was supervised by Miss Kitty Coope. Plus ça change in certain respects:
Thu Feb 09 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 9 February 2023: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: clear sky, temperature 1°C (34°F), wind westerly 8mph, visibility good, pressure 1027mb, humidity 88%, UV risk 0/11, pollution low…
Thu Feb 09 08:36 Yeah, but trendy judges?
Thu Feb 09 12:19 Using Royal Mail's online click&drop service (IT failure means you can no longer send international parcels via post offices) one gets the impression they'd rather not be in the parcels business at all
Thu Feb 09 20:41 Threw a load of back-pocket orange peel + house keys into a locked bin next to the heron pond. Garbage archaeology findings: 1) keys sink, 2) students live on pizza, bananas & takeaway coffee, & 3) no Tiktok sightings so far
Fri Feb 10 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 10 February 2023: Then: 1821: The view at Foston (Ryedale). Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 3°C (38°F), wind south westerly 10mph, visibility good, pressure 1033mb, humidity 89%, UV risk 0/11, pollution low…
Fri Feb 10 11:42 These look familiar
Sat Feb 11 08:11 Comment: @SjaneP Haven't had a chance to go down there, but I'm 99% sure the current Ellars / Ellers complex on the Bradford Road at Kirkstall shares its site but little or nothing else with the house shown by Turner. It's a late-19th century rebuild
Sat Feb 11 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 11 February 2023: Then: 1674: A successful national fast. Now: Weather for tonight: clear sky, temperature 6°C (43°F), wind westerly 12mph, visibility good, pressure 1032mb, humidity 87%, UV risk 0/11, pollution low (mid-Yorkshire)Sun:…
Sat Feb 11 08:25 @orionbooks Hi, have you got contact details for whoever at W&N is responsible for reproduction permissions? Ta!
Sat Feb 11 23:46 Infant currently into the full range of Disney's Silly Symphonies, particularly Skeleton Dance (1929), but also the delicious whimsy of Water Babies (1935)
Sun Feb 12 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 12 February 2023: Then: 1677: Oliver Heywood can't decide whether to cross the Pennines to Lancashire on a snowy day. Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 3°C (37°F), wind south westerly 5mph, visibility good, pressure…
Sun Feb 12 20:21 Comment: So who wrote the title song of Disney's Silly Symphony Water Babies, where's the vocal version etc etc? J.B. Kaufman's piece is the closest I've got
Mon Feb 13 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 13 February 2023: Then: 1669: Oliver Heywood's sons set off weeping from Northowram to Heath Grammar School, Halifax, having failed to learn their Latin. 1796: Marshall and the Benyons' linen factory at Leeds burns down with the loss…
Mon Feb 13 09:40 Why isn't there a cartoon of Johnson as a Russian spy balloon?
Mon Feb 13 09:51 In the municipal status inflation contest of 1893 I love Sheffield Liberal councillor Herbert Bramley's attitude
Mon Feb 13 09:55 Given the pleasure derived by the infant, after initial nerves, from the ceremonial conflagration of the Christmas tree (whoosh!), I can't understand why the Guy Fawkes & New Year's fireworks can't be channelled into a somewhat more ecologically sound infernal arboreal Epiphany
Mon Feb 13 11:10 NHS budget £150bn, but still incapable of the not hugely challenging system integration required to show patients logging into their GP health record a dashboard with their latest vital sign test results
Mon Feb 13 20:02 GP manages to get a stethoscope on the infant after 3 months of respiratories & comes up looking alarmed: "Her lungs don't sound good, & I'm worried she may have emphysema." Too late I notice that the retired miner effect is caused by her breathing through a kazoo.
Mon Feb 13 20:34 Pakistani guy dishing it out to young Horn of Africa(?) Deliveroo rider on Wood Lane, Headingley: "I'm not going to dob you in this time, but you know blah." I guess a degree of renting of Deliveroo IDs to the undocumented is required to sustain the govt's Home Obesity Programme
Tue Feb 14 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 14 February 2023: Then: 1400: Richard II possibly dies a prisoner in Pontefract Castle, but probably not as described by Shakespeare. 1779: James Cook of Marton-in-Cleveland is killed while trying to recover a boat from the Hawaiians.…
Tue Feb 14 20:09 One (1) toilet. Outside: an infant bursting for a wee. Inside: some poor man with dementia and diarrhoea.
Tue Feb 14 21:06 Crimes against prosody - I guess the translation (from Chinese?) & voicing are crap AI
Tue Feb 14 21:06 Comment: But enjoying the design of printed Chinese romantic fiction - quite a lot at Leeds central library
Wed Feb 15 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 15 February 2023: Then: 1647: 'A stranger and pilgrim in the world,' Adam Eyre of Thurleston determines in his will where and how he is to be buried. Now: Weather for tonight: clear sky, temperature 1°C (34°F), wind south easterly…
Wed Feb 15 19:50 Comment: @DanielGalef That's a beautiful word I didn't know. An old work lament:
Wed Feb 15 19:51 Comment: @Transblawg I don't think anyone in the PO queue filmed me
Wed Feb 15 19:57 The infant thinks the funniest gag ever is about the hospital where radiology is run by a gorilla, who gives patients photos of bananas
Wed Feb 15 20:11 Comment: @GroomB @aflashbak Sheikh Mujibur Rahman in a front garden on Sidney Street, London E1 - but the story is duller
Wed Feb 15 20:17 Frumptarn GuggenBand (Barnsley)
Wed Feb 15 20:18 Comment: More Guggenmusik: Horburgschlurbi (Basel)
Wed Feb 15 20:56 Stanley forever
Wed Feb 15 20:59 Comment: Looks like Stanley coming round the corner by the cashpoint
Thu Feb 16 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 16 February 2023: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: light rain, temperature 5°C (41°F), wind southerly 7mph, visibility good, pressure 1017mb, humidity 89%, UV risk 0/11, pollution low…
Thu Feb 16 20:08 If for some reason they're fans of the nominative plural, then why not alumnae?
Thu Feb 16 20:11 V touching - 4 months after a party, a small Chinese girl is still addicted to the fairy story & is gradually learning all the songs, particularly Spoonful of Sugar & Bare Necessities
Thu Feb 16 20:44 Comment: @Transblawg I and Justin have never been seen together
Thu Feb 16 23:32 The toilets in the playground at Portswood Primary (allegedly built by German POWs) were terrifying but at least they were inside, unlike those at Bassett Green
Fri Feb 17 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 17 February 2023: Then: 1801: Recent international arrivals and departures at the port of Hull. 1995: Symbols of community decline in Leeds. Now: Weather for tonight: drizzle, temperature 12°C (53°F), wind south westerly 22mph,…
Fri Feb 17 10:45 Every winter the same question: why isn't rhubarb sold in the rhubarb triangle triangular?
Fri Feb 17 10:51 Do the car-less always trump the meat-less?
Fri Feb 17 11:37 Someone says that in this year's local art exhibition men in skirts have elbowed out women. "Maybe there's some clever justification, but the Curry & Chips film looks like a rich boy putting on a dress to demonstrate the stupidity of poor women - Les Dawson without the jokes."
Sat Feb 18 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 18 February 2023: Then: 1889: An effigy of Jack Nelson, wife-beater, is paraded with rough music through Hedon (Holderness) by a furious crowd. Now: Weather for tonight: light rain, temperature 9°C (48°F), wind south westerly 23mph,…
Sun Feb 19 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 19 February 2023: Then: 1857: William Maddison goes into a burning Lundhill Colliery, Barnsley to look for survivors of the firedamp explosion that killed 189 of the 200 men and boys underground. 1866: The Diana, Hull's first…
Mon Feb 20 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 20 February 2023: Then: 1975: Alan Bennett on Leeds, 'motorway city of the seventies'. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 11°C (52°F), wind westerly 23mph, visibility good, pressure 1018mb, humidity 80%, UV risk 0/11,…
Mon Feb 20 10:05 .@bbccleeds wants parents to try harder to cram 25 prams into a shed the size of 1 SUV space. Design 15 years old (original omitted shed altogether!), so some wonder if time for a sustainable rethink - pedestrian gathering space replacing parking along the façade, shed for 40...?
Mon Feb 20 11:12 Note to crime scene investigators should I perish brutally near the Roger Stevens building: walking back from @KirkgateMarket of a morning with some more excellent fish from the Bethells, I have noticed the heron eyeing me up
Tue Feb 21 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 21 February 2023: Then: 1688: York apprentices cock-throwing on Shrove Tuesday break a (Catholic) window, the militia steps in, and torture ensues. 1718: Elizabeth Hodgson and William Reeston are excommunicated in St. Augustine's,…
Tue Feb 21 20:47 A bit of having one's cake & eating it: there may be a speed cam, but the council may not bother to maintain it - two on Headingley Lane taped over at least since April 2021
Tue Feb 21 20:54 A reminder today that getting people out of cars and onto their feet isn't just about making driving unattractive & clearing all the cars/bins/etc off pavements: A commutes Moortown-Headingley on foot but uses the car in winter for fear of being mugged
Wed Feb 22 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 22 February 2023: Then: Sorry, nothing yet for today. Make a suggestion! Now: Weather for tonight: light rain, temperature 7°C (44°F), wind southerly 9mph, visibility good, pressure 1009mb, humidity 88%, UV risk 0/11, pollution low…
Wed Feb 22 10:26 The question of whether the UK should be renamed New Albania because of (1 - Remainers) food shortages - Enver Hoxha: Eat grass rather than cooperate with capitalism; or (2 - Brexiters & the Guardian) domination of the underworld by Shqiptare clans
Wed Feb 22 10:28 Comment: Image from Michael Harrison's collection
Wed Feb 22 19:16 Kingfisher this morning whipping up Meanwood Beck under the foot bridge ca 200m south of Grove Lane Stables - recognisable from its low straight flight as much as from its feathers
Wed Feb 22 19:21 Staff nerves at a Prime (what is it?) stampede by City Academy kids at Headingley Sainsbury this afty. I expected a Hackney-style clear-the-shelves-&-run, but most accepted rationing. Tomatoes long gone
Thu Feb 23 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 23 February 2023: Then: 1832: An innkeeper's son rides a runaway Galloway across the River Foss at York. 1863: The Rev. Samuel Gray of Cundall tries to make school interesting for a nervous William Allison (12). Now: Weather for…
Thu Feb 23 11:19 The infant can have orange in her lunch box when she's learned the conventional pronunciation of pith
Thu Feb 23 16:11 Comment: south -> downstream
Thu Feb 23 20:55 Little B was a bit upset at lunchtime, cue live highlights from Kurt Schwitters' Ursonate - better than warm milk & gin for toddlers
Fri Feb 24 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 24 February 2023: Then: 1673: Oliver Heywood regrets impulsively baptizing the child of an irresponsible Quaker father. 1777: Penniless Tom Fashion of London calls on redneck Yorkshire moneybags Sir Tunbelly Clumsy, during tonight's…
Fri Feb 24 17:40 We've abandoned the plan to keep a flock of sheep & goats on Headingley Hill & are going to eat the grass ourselves
Sat Feb 25 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 25 February 2023: Then: 1879: The scene outside Armley Gaol, Leeds, at the execution of Charles Peace, steelworker, violinist, picture-framer, burglar, stalker, murderer. Now: Weather for tonight: light cloud, temperature 3°C (37°F),…
Sat Feb 25 16:38 Midsummer mead project
Sun Feb 26 07:41 The real puzzle about the guys in a flatbed who stole the bikes from a block on North Grange Mount before Christmas is why they bothered to wear balaclavas while on the property or take them off on leaving
Sun Feb 26 07:53 Amazon suspects that Vikings:Northumbria::Spanish:West Indies
Sun Feb 26 08:07 RT @Rainmaker1973: At what age are people being described as being old, as a function of the age of who describes? It's the square-root of…
Sun Feb 26 08:08 Comment: My code used to think that Amazon would have Alcuin, no more
Sun Feb 26 08:11 Comment: @BBCLookNorth J swears by Spoons - 99p coffee with free refills
Sun Feb 26 08:16 Yorkshire Almanac: 26 February 2023: Then: 1787: William Butterworth of Leeds arrives at Grenada from Calabar on the Hudibras (Liverpool) with the survivors of a cargo of 360 slaves. Now: Weather for tonight: partly cloudy, temperature 3°C (37°F), wind…
Sun Feb 26 08:35 Comment: @Durotrigesdig Simon Jones (1805-73), Llanuwchllyn #StandingStoneSunday
Sun Feb 26 19:01 Left London too soon to take the toddler to see this at the British Library
Sun Feb 26 20:02 Comment: @TomTheProducer1 @LeedsTours For a while I walked along roads to an office near Philly, but colleagues would stop and ask if I was OK, so I ended up going across fields
Sun Feb 26 20:55 Unmetered water, but this is still a bit big for the bath
Mon Feb 27 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 27 February 2023: Then: 1390: On bended knee before an audience of York dignitaries, a weeping Richard Ellerbeck begs Ralph del See to forgive the death of his father. 1717: Julia Calverley of Esholt Hall completes ten panels of…
Mon Feb 27 09:05 Comment: @tombcn The number is not in fact random but was selected on the basis of careful calculation: 1m/day is comprehensible to most people
Mon Feb 27 09:58 The rooster party was good, so now looking at dragons, specifically the Dragon of Wantley, who dies when kicked up his arse-gut
Mon Feb 27 10:03 Comment: "Arse" should always rhyme with "Mars"
Tue Feb 28 08:17 Yorkshire Almanac: 28 February 2023: Then: 1863: William Allison (11) goes mouse-hunting at Cundall with his fellow-pupil. Now: Weather for tonight: drizzle, temperature 4°C (39°F), wind northerly 8mph, visibility good, pressure 1035mb, humidity 93%, UV…
Tue Feb 28 11:45 - You're not going to touch the plum tree, are you? We took 35 kilos off that last summer. He gives me a sinister look: - I'm barking, barking mad. He is indeed just laying weed-suppressing bark chip on the surrounding beds.
Tue Feb 28 11:47 Did a few rhymes from the Raymond Briggs Fee Fi Fo Fum collection before realizing just how sinister they sound away from home - contemporary taste so anodyne and purportedly hate-averse
Tue Feb 28 12:04 Simple as pie - not
Tue Feb 28 14:01 Dreams of a mansion in Roundhay vanished when I realized I'm getting the same nominal for kazoo gigs as when I stopped practising 20 years ago
Tue Feb 28 18:39 Psst, anyone got Mercurius Diutinus, January 6-13 1647?
Tue Feb 28 19:46 Comment: (That's issue 7)