This stuff should be subsidised, not banned, although I can’t work out whether the machines used to produce it are translators or generators. Here’s something I received this morning (URL omitted):

Our soft pensil makes sound.
Our noisy round eraser is thinking and our children beautiful spoon arrives.
A golden glasses smells at the place that any round-shaped recycle bin show its value and perhaps the bluish clock run.
Any given small baby is thinking.
Mine round soda arrives.
Our well-crafted recycle bin looks around.
Our shining cat calculates the time that his brothers purple round-shaped mouse calms-down.
Her white bottle run.
A given noisy little car is thinking.
Any given white eraser got an idea.
Any given shining car is angry and perhaps mine white bed got an idea.
Our white table smiles the time that our odd shaped sony fidgeting.
Our children white soft well-crafted cat adheres.
Whose fancy white house smiles or maybe whose round-shaped mobile phone stares or any given shining small eraser arrives.
Mine slopy slopy boots stares.
Our hairy stupid red red cat stands-still or our stupid binocyles looks around.
A well-crafted hairy golden camera adheres and her daughters soft noisy dog stares.
Any given white balloon adheres.
Their tall boat walks.
A given beautiful shining boat walks the time that her daughters golden eraser snores as soon as whose fancy shining boat stares.
Mine noisy ipaq prepare for fight.
His slopy bicycle prepare for fight.
Whose red spoon snores.
Their round mobile phone stinks.
His brothers slopy sport shoes fidgeting while the tall computer falls.
A slopy recycle bin calculates.
Our white recycle bin fidgeting and perhaps any given expensive omprella prepare for fight and still our beautiful bluish bottle lies and the hairy purple green t-shirt snores.
His round-shaped book stands-still.
Whose round laptop arrives or maybe our children purple white paper looks around while their shining underwares walks however, her white purple small green bed arrives.

The only thing that spoils it slightly is the title, hot soccer-moms get fuck3d.

(Josep Pla (1/2), in interviews with Salvador Pániker (1965) and Joaquín Soler Serrano (1976), and probably in a number of other places, said:

The genius of all Latin languages consists in using an article, a noun, a verb, and a predicate. The best phrase created in our language is “the door is green.” Full stop. And then comes another phrase.

So maybe it’s all his fault.)

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  1. Man, are you a master in retrieving diamonds from the dump!

    I used to enjoy reading the Nigerian scam messages when I got them, and google up the names of late, supposedly corrupt African politicians whose spawn want to share their loot with total strangers.

    Now with 500+ messages showing up at my mailboxes dayly, only about 10 intended for me, I can’t wait until bayesian filtering does put an end to this curse. See

  2. The best way to filter out spam is to accept only messages with the words “cock” and “sex” in them. Spammers spell them “c0ck” and “s3x”.

  3. An institutional solution would be for the UN to provide free drugs, pornography, and penis enlargements to anyone who wanted them. That would put the spammers out of business.

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