Drongos from Mars

There’s a good post over at Confrontación about the current Telefónica hard sell, which involves pestering hapless consumers with something worse than they’ve already got. Someone I know down south just had to wait four months for a line to be put in, and no, I really don’t want to hear your own Telefónica story.

The new operators are marginally more competent and a lot more confident. Someone else I know wanted to swap the contract she had for another one while retaining her number. In Spain this involves a several week wait during which countless civil servants ponder the long term implications, work on their novels, and stroke their beards. Then they tell the jilted operator what’s going on, and a customer service rep swigs his cortado and rings the client:

CSR: Listen, why do you want to leave us for Hiss & Co?
Client: Hello, who’s that?
CSR: You know damn well who it is. Why are you leaving us?
Client: Ah! Crackly Networks! Well, you see, I’ve moved to a remote mountain valley
and your service…
CSR: We’ll give you €20 extra free calls.
Client: No, it’s not like that…
CSR: 50 and that’s my last offer. What do you think we are, Chupa Chups?
Client: Look, you don’t understand, I’m in a valley and there’s no signal from
CSR: We’ll put a new antenna in. Where do you live?
Client: Well, it’s a really little place behind Monte Jodido…
CSR: Have you got a roof? We’ll put it on your roof.
Client: Well, it’s a caravan…
CSR: We’ll build a metal frame round it and strap the antenna on top.
Client: But you’ll never earn your money back…
CSR: Neighbours?
Client: There’s an old chapel but…
CSR: Tower? Keys?
Client: … it’s in ruins
CSR: Do you want a mobile account or not?
Client: Well actually…
CSR: I know your sort, dirty hippies. Hey, you know what? Go f*ck yourself.

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