A bicycling boho hobo, tempted by Cockaigne, fearful of Ruin

What to do when a mysterious lady offers you a free ride?

The lion and the gazelle playing chess or similar in a Ramesside topsy-turvy world papyrus <a href='http://www.britishmuseum.org/research/search_the_collection_database/search_object_details.aspx?objectid=117404&partid=1&searchText=topsy+turvy+world&numpages=10&orig=%2fresearch%2fsearch_the_collection_database.aspx&currentPage=1'>from the British Museum</a>

The lion and the gazelle playing chess or similar in a Ramesside topsy-turvy world papyrus from the British Museum

In response to this appeal for help in recovering my stoken bike, this exceptionally generous offer:

Yo, si quieres, te regalo la mia. es una globetrotter, roja y plateada. Me traslado a Madrid.
No es la misma…pero si la quieres te la doy.

Hmm, consistent with a song we’re doing (the Burl Ives versions are great):

On a summer’s day in the month of May
A burly bum came a-hiking
Down a shady lane near the sugar cane
He was looking for his liking
As he strolled along he sung a song
Of the land of milk and honey
Where a bum can stay for many a day
And he won’t need any money.

Oh, the buzzing of the bees in the cigarette trees,
The soda water fountain,
Where the lemonade springs and the bluebird sings
On that Big Rock Candy Mountain.

But when offered a free lunch, do always consult a veterinary dentist. Samuel Johnson (The Vanity of Human Wishes. The Tenth Satire of Juvenal Imitated, in the Penguin Selected Writings, acquired Monday @ 2 quid from the Oxfam that enlivens Fareham’s West St, infinitely preferable to the shopping centre Waterstone’s) hints at a plot to encumber this bicycle’s recipient with woes:

The needy traveller serene and gay,
Walks the wild heath and sings his toil away.
Does envy seize thee? crush th’ upbraiding joy,
Increase his riches, and his peace destroy,
Now fears in dire vicissitude invade,
The rustling brake alarms, and quiv’ring shade,
Nor light nor darkness bring his pain relief,
One shows the plunder, and one hides the thief.

And the lady who would give me this bicycle turns up elsewhere denying that she is a tarotist and offering personal services of a nature further unspecified @ 60€/30min. Our meeting, such as it is, will be in public.

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  1. Highest bid here before Friday 19:00 acquires the rights to attend an interview with a non-tarotist, who may or may not be desirous of bestowing a bicycle on someone she has never met.

  2. She didn’t mention how big it was, which isn’t necessarily to say that she has some other horrible agenda. If there are no bids, I’ll have to film my ride and auction the rights.

  3. I rather suspect that both you and the Nun are men. If the non-tarotist is male too then any meeting of the four of us will start to look like a typical swingers’ club.

  4. Wait a sec, ain’t there chicks aplenty in a swingers’? I mean, I never went, but I just in case I’d do one day…

    I’m a man allright. The Nun sure sounds like one, but there was my hope: a chick that reasons like a man is such a rare and precious bird.

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